Kissing the Agony (Agony Series #1)

Chapter 25: Power Reborn

The cameras flashed like lightning, sharp, relentless, unmerciful. But I didn't flinch.

I walked with my chin high, the heels biting into the slick marble runway, each step echoing louder than applause. The spotlight followed me like it always had, except this time, I wasn't being exposed. I was being seen..

Milan was cold, but I wasn't.

The dress I wore was handcrafted silk, in the shade of dusk. Vogue said it was "the color of power reborn." I didn't care much for metaphors anymore. I knew what power felt like, it was the ache in my calves after twelve castings in one day. It was the sting of rejection, the thrill of being chosen, the discipline of showing up anyway.

It was every night I juggled call times and coursework, every sleepless dawn I studied with makeup still on and deadlines closing in. It was every peso I saved to pay for tuition, printing, and commuting. Every time I told myself, just one more gig, just one more day.

I walked that runway not just for the cameras. I walked for the girl who once hid her bruises with foundation. For the student who almost didn't make it to college. For the woman I was becoming.

And when I reached the end of the runway, I didn't pause for the cameras.
I turned without breaking stride... because I had another place to be.

When I graduated Cum Laude, my Thesis Adviser told me, half-joking and half-serious, that if I hadn't been flying back and forth across the globe for work, I could've easily taken home the highest Latin honor.

But I was content. No, actually... more than content. I was proud. Genuinely, deeply proud of what I had achieved in college.

Balancing a career and an education was no small feat. There were days when I ran on nothing but caffeine, adrenaline, and sheer will. I'd go straight from runway fittings to final exams, from sleepless shoots to thesis revisions. But I never gave up. I showed up for both lives as a model and a student, and somehow, I made it work.

I graduated with flying colors, not just in terms of grades, but in perseverance. In grit.

Now, I know for certain that I want both. I want to walk runways and enter classrooms.

A few months ago, I passed the Licensure Examination for Professional Teachers. And while modeling gave me wings, teaching has always grounded me. It's the quieter dream I've held onto since I was young. I don't want all those years of studying to go to waste. I want to pour what I've learned into the next generation, into kids who, like me, are just trying to believe in themselves again.

I was recently hired as an English teacher in a private school not too far from my condo. The position was part-time, and honestly, that was perfect for me. With modeling still keeping my schedule packed, I didn't need a full-time load. I just wanted to keep doing what I love, on both ends of the spectrum.

I've always said I wanted the best of both worlds, and now that it's finally here, I'm content with what's being offered to me.

The venue was a converted palace, baroque ceilings above, chrome scaffolding below. It was the kind of contrast only Milan could pull off: old-world beauty reimagined for the catwalk.

The backstage was chaotic, like it has always been. Nasanay na ako sa mga ilaw, flash ng camera, at kaguluhan dahil halos limang taon ko na rin itong ginagawa.

Ilang beses na rin akong naimbitahan at nakuha bilang model sa mga fashion weeks sa ibang bansa, kadalasan ay dito sa Europa. I have become friends with a lot of models in the Philippines and even the international ones.

With the help of Miss Farah, I became her most hired model during my first years in the agency. That's how I became big in the Philippines. Local brands loved my features and my skills that I was taught. My professionalism was also notable, the reason why the creatives have always been very vocal about how they genuinely loved working with me.

Hindi naging madali ang pagsabayin ang pag-aaral sa kolehiyo at ang pagmomodelo, lalo na at sinikap ko talagang maka-graduate ng may laude. I have model friends who did great in the university while also being a full time model and so I pushed myself hard, because if others can do it, then, I can do it too.

Dorothy saved enough money before she finally ended her job of being a sex worker. It has been a few years ever since she retired from the job. Now, she's doing great, handling her food business. She's still single though, just like me.

Sa tingin ko ay nahawa na siya sa akin sa pagiging focused sa career, kaya nawalan na rin siya ng oras para sa pakikipag relasyon.

Ako naman, kahit maraming nagpakita ng interes dahil sobrang lawak ng industriyang ginagalawan, ay hindi rin nagka boyfriend dahil wala na nga akong oras sa sarili ko sa sobrang busy sa pag-aaral at trabaho, hindi ko na kayang maglaan pa ng oras para sa ibang tao.

I remained single... and now, very successful. I am proud to say that I am successful now because I am an LPT, and am walking on the runway in Milan.

Hindi namin napag usapan pa ni Dorothy si Cyrus. Bukod sa minsan ko na lang siya maisip, ay tingin ko hindi na rin naman siya nagtatanong kay Dorothy tungkol sa akin.

Bakit pa ba niya ako maiiisip? Malamang ay naka move on na 'yon. I already did. After all, it has been five years since we last saw each other. I don't think he'll have hang ups on me, especially when what we had before was never really official. We were fuck buddies. That's all.

I was so focused on my career and studies and I gave those two all my time and attention. I am grateful I did, because I became successful because of it. I managed to forget about him so I won't be surprised if he did too.

I was able to pay for my tuition while I was in university. I was able to save money for my future endeavors. Hindi na rin naman ako nagtatravel for leisure dahil halos buwan buwan naman akong umaalis ng bansa para sa trabaho. May ilan kaming libreng araw tuwing nasa ibang bansa para sa trabaho, kaya iyon na lang ang itinuturing kong bakasyon.

Because I had made it big in the industry, I sometimes found myself invited to high-profile social events... gala dinners, private shows, rooftop afterparties. I'd go with my co-models, and sometimes with Miss Farah.

On rare occasions, I would bump into familiar faces... my past clients.

Each time, my throat would tighten. I'd brace myself, thinking they might recognize me, say something, expose me to my agency. But they never did.

Ang iba, pakiramdam ko ay namumukhaan ako, pero tumatahimik lang sila, at sila na mismo ang umiiwas. Ang iba naman, mukhang hindi na ako naaalala.

They were tycoons. Powerful, wealthy men. And for all the women they had touched, used, bedded... I guess one face didn't mean much to remember.

I'm not ashamed of my past. I wouldn't be this empowered and successful woman now if it weren't my experiences. Although, I don't want to talk about it and be brought to tables when it's unnecessary.

I no longer chase the life I thought I lost. I've built a new one, brick by brick, sewn through fabric, forged in long nights and hard choices. I may be a victim of my past, but I am also the author of my future.

I am a teacher, a model, a woman who rose from silence and stitched herself back into the light. And every time I walk on a runway, or step into a classroom, I carry proof that you can live many lives after pain.

You can begin again... and this time, on your own terms.