MISTAKES 2 (Tronnor fanfic)

#5 Phonecall

CONNORS POV

Beep

I groaned. Was it morning already?

Beep beep

My phones alarm kept ringing on the bedside table and I felt someone tickling me beside me and on the matterss there was Petra, texting or something.

I stretched to the phone and in fustration set the alarm off.

I heard giggling behind me and someone kept tickling me.

"LEVIIII!!! The morning monster comes and gets you now!" I smiled and lifted him up and he just squeeked and laughed in excitement.
"Noooo the morning monster!!! Gaaaah!!" I tickled him as he rolled on the doublebed laughing, and I giggled too.

We were with my aunt, and she had said (she's on vacation in Ireland for two months) that we could stay there as long as we wanted. Just keep the house tidy, she had said.

And the key was in the flower pot outside. Like every time for over 25 years. Simple.

"I'm starving." Petra said casually as I tried to get out of the bed and brush my teeth.
"We have to go to the store then." I babbled from the bathroom. I looked at myself from the mirror and smiled faintly, whispering to myself;

"It's gonna be okay. Just ignore this. Take it like a vacation, maybe."

I spat the bubbles to the sink and washed my mouth with cold water, my face as well.
Petra was in the other bathroom, brushing her and Levis teeth and doing her makeup and hair. She was always so helpful and quick.

Unlike others.

I walked past the bathroom they were in and heard Levi mumbling a song at the same time while brushing his teeth.

"Let's go and.... FUNN!! Let's go have funnnnnnn...... Old jeep bride across town in the waffles on the front seat."
"No, that's not how it's supposed to sound, Levi!"
Petra giggled.
I sighed.
Fun.

I yawned and placed the coffee mug under the cappuccino machine. The Machine bubbled and screeched for a second and then ran smoothly, creating the coffee I was absolutely craving right now. Three to five cups, I suppose.

"Dad make me some too!" Petra shouted as I poured her a cup, too.
"Sure." I part shouted and part just mumbled but she seemed to get it.
I sipped the burning hot coffee, walking outside in my fluffy morning robe.
My feet were freezing against the ice cold, stone steps that lined the backyard. The air was dry and chilly. I breathed in of the small chock of the hot coffee, still sipping it, like usual.

Levi was taken care by Petra and I just stood and stared in front of me. Stared at the snow frosted tree tops. At the slippery, ice coated mountains and the few snowflakes falling on my lashes and in my coffee. I stared at the small, icy flakes melt quicker than in a second, like they were small sculptures, so beautiful and fragile, that are made to last just a few seconds.
I sighed.

Everything reminded me of Troye. I hadn't heard anything from him.

He killed himself.

I shivered. No. He is not like that.

No, not before he kills you.

That was just ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Stop it.

I felt the shivers go down my spine. It really was cold. I decided to go back in the warm as I noticed my coffee running out, too.
Petra was on the phone. She was talking to someone.

I gulped.
"Um, no dad. We are with Con now. Yeah. No, he hasn't talked about you. Sure. Okay. Take care, love you. Bye."

I sat down and felt an overwhelming urge to run away or start crying. K wiped my mouth in fustration.

"It was Troye, huh?" I tried to stay calm.
"Yep." Petra said, doing the dishes and popping the 'P'.

"So, w-what did he say?" My voice was unsteady and I tried to fix it with coughing a bit.
"Nothing special. Just when we are coming back and I said I don't know and he said Love you Petra and I said Me too and stuff."
She looked at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. Sure."

"You're shaking, dad."

"I-... I'm just tired I guess. And cold. I just came in."

She looked down at the dishes and just sighed, kept cleaning  the old plates. "Sure, whatever you say." I could tell that she saw right trough me. She always did. She always noticed when I was excited about something, or I was upset or sad or mad or whatever mood I felt. That's just who she is. Sometimes, that's a good thing, sometimes not.

I hugged both my children and went across the house to my luggage. I pulled out a shirt and simple black jeans. Even if I was a dad, I am STILL stylish. I swear. I am not a granddad. Not yet. 

I hadn't sat on the bed for too long before my phone started to vibrate on the nightstand. I reached to see who it was. And, surprise, it was Troye.

Troye. Don't answer it, you dumbass. Things are going to get worse, don't ya think? Just let it slip. Like it never happened. Like you didn't notice that. Boom. Gone.

I was almost disgusted in myself from the criss crossed thoughts speared trough my mind like multicolored butterflies, all reading different opinions and I was just getting crazy and anxious of the multiple choices I had. 

Answer it! Throw the phone out of the window. Ignore that. Go away, don't mind. Pick it up and pretend you're someone else!!

I picked it up. I heard small sobs and glass bottles clinging against each other and falling on the floor. Troye was crying. And he was drunk, again. He was very quiet and just small cries and whales between quiet tearing heard from the microphone. I sat quiet, citing my nails, wondering if I should say anything.

I was about to open my mouth, as Troye did it before me:

"I...I'm sorry, Connor. I understand you- you left me here." At this point I wasn't sure how to feel. To comfort him? To hang up? To just continue silent? So, that's what I did. 

"But you know w-what? You remember how you said you didn't deserve m-me?" Was he going to diss me? To make things worse than they are? Just, leave me alone please. "Well, you totally did. But I don-don't you." A long silence. Filled with me hearing a pill bottle open, and a second and a third.  

"So.... bleach and pills it is.

Goodbye."

I choked. On my own guilt. I had just left him. Was he serious? "NO!! No, Tro, No!! Listen to me for just a second, please." I started almost crying and panicking.

'You fucking worthless piece of shit!!'

'Just... just leave...'

"Why?? Why should I? It's all fucking the same, we are all going to die, why not do it now!??? DON'T interrupt me. And what do you c-care?? You left me here."

You left me here.

YOU left me here.

"I-I..... I love you." I said and hung up quietly. I held back the emotions. Like I always did. If I said that, he might just not do it. Please God, don't let him do this. Please. Please God, please.

You left me here.