The Lost Roses

Chapter Eight

When I wake up the next morning he's still gone. I'm surprised he seriously has no clocks in this house. And if he does, they're well hidden. I decide to go through all of my things he has hidden away. Nothing really interests me until I find my IPod and docking station. I jump up and down in happiness. I dig through my suitcase to find my dance clothes. Once on and my hair is secured in a bun, I find an outlet for the dock. I plug my iPod in, find the right playlist, and dance. I didn't realize how much I missed this. Dance has always helped me through tough times. I should have asked sooner if he had any of my things. I'm surprised I still know all of my routines and warm ups. I get lost in the movements.
"Wow." Hearing someone in the room shocks me so much I lose balance and fall flat on my face.
"Owww. Shit! My nose is bleeding. Ugh...its on the carpet!" I run straight to the bathroom, shove some toilet paper up my nose, and grab a rag and some cleaner. If this stain doesn't come out he's going to kill me.
"Hey, hey! Zoey! It's fine. Jesus I didn't mean to scare you." I look up to see Lucas kneeling in front of me.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get blood on the floor."
"Its fine. I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't see me standing there. I was watching you dance for a good ten minutes before I said anything." I don't say anything. Instead I walk into the bathroom and pull out the blood soaked tissue. "Here, let me help. You have blood all over you. Why don't you take a shower?"
"Where have you been?" I ask finally realizing he's back.
"Out."
"Well that's specific." I mutter grabbing underwear and a t-shirt from the dresser. I walk back into the bathroom and turn on the water and shower head undressing as I wait.
"Do you want me to wash these?" Jesus he never goes away. Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me I answer.
"No. They have to be hand washed. And then dried in a really specific way. I wouldn't mind them shrinking a little. But I don't want my dance stuff to be too small if I ever do put weight back on. I look like an anorexic."
"You do look really skinny. I mean not that you weren't before. You just looked a lot more healthy then. Do you know what size sweater he got you yesterday?"
"I dunno a medium?"
"Yea. In girls clothes. Not juniors, or women's."
"Oh.."
"You need to eat more. For the millionth time. Your food from last night is in the fridge."
"Okay." I say waiting for him to leave. Of course he doesn't. So I just drop my towel and step into the tub as quickly as possible. I can see him through the shower curtain so I know he's still standing there. "Do you need something?" I yell over the water. I don't get an answer and when I look again, he's gone. Whatever. I hope he doesn't expect me to eat chicken and ice cream this early in the morning. Pancakes would be nice. And milk. If he doesn't make them I'll cook for myself. When I'm done washing my hair and myself I call for Lucas. He unfortunately wont let me shave myself. So he does it. I call him again and he doesn't answer. I step out of the tub and lose my balance and slip. Of course he decides to do laundry when I'm in the shower. I can't catch my balance and fall. I hit my head on the tub and then...nothing. I wake up sometime later still laying there. Not too long later because the running water is still hot. Wow that hurt... and of course I'm bleeding again. I clean it up as best as I can and carefully step back into the tub to rinse my hair and scalp. It burns and I have a raging headache. I say screw shaving and just dry off. I don't think Lucas is even home. I just go to bed. Screw clothes. I keep getting blood on everything anyway. And lucas has a habit of ripping or cutting them off of me. Sometime later I'm shaken awake.
"What.." I ask groggily. Still half asleep.
"Zoey you're bleeding. And naked. God Lucas is going to be pissed."
"Ohmygosh!" I yell realizing the one waking me up is very much not my captor. "Well get out!" I yank the blanket up over me. Although the damage is done. The blanket was halfway down my body and barely covering anything. Fuck. Lucas is not going to be happy. And the pillowcase is covered in blood. I get dressed in a yellow flowery dress and my new cardigan. Then I throw the pillow and its case in the laundry room before I find Michael in the living room sitting on the couch looking very uncomfortable. "Hi." I say awkwardly.
"He is going to be very pissed I saw his girlfriend naked. Not once, but twice. And he's gonna want to know how you cracked your head."
"Oh well that's his fault. He took the floor mat out of the bathroom. I slipped, fell, and hit my head on the tub. I also passed out for a little bit. Anyway it doesn't hurt that much. Just a throbbing, thing. Where is he? And why are you here?"
"He decided to go to work last night. He came back this morning during his break. He told me to watch out for you. And then left again. He wanted us to meet him for lunch at noon. I didn't expect you to be naked in bed."
"Yea? Well I didn't expect anyone but Lucas coming into his bedroom."
"Wait, were you waiting for him like that?"
"No. I was exhausted. I didn't feel like getting dressed. And he has a habit of ripping them off anyway."
"I dont think that last part was necessary." I whip around to see Lucas standing behind me. "What did you do to your head? Are you bleeding?"
"A little..."
"Her whole pillow was soaked."
"What!? Zoey, really?"
"What? It was your fault. You took the mat out of the bathroom. I slipped and fell getting out. It's not that big of a deal."
"It is when you need stitches."
"Well I wouldn't need them if it weren't for you. Again." He is really starting to piss me off.
"Why dont you come to the bathroom with me and I can clean you up a bit." Great. Now I'm in trouble again. I follow him to the bathroom. "Did you really think any of that was necessary?" He says slapping me. I dont say anything. I just sit there glaring at him. "Get up. Seriously Zoey I am not in the mood. Get. Up. Now." When I continue to sit there he yanks me up by my hair. And hits me again making me fall. This time he doesn't even bother saying anything. He just starts kicking me. When he's happy with his work he walks out, leaving me laying there. I hear him and Michael talking and then they both leave. I guess I had it coming. At least he shut the door so Michael wouldn't hear any of it. For some reason it seems odd that I don't want him to know what his brother is doing to me. He should know. Everyone should know. When I'm sure they're both gone and not coming back anytime soon I go in the kitchen and grab my food. Screw cooking. I dont want to be around him. I don't even want to chance it. Sitting on the floor in the bedroom I eat the rest of my sandwich, fries, and milkshake. For some reason I can't enjoy any of it. I search around the bathroom for some aspirin or something for the pain and finally find some. He's lucky there's only four in this bottle. If there were more...I'd take them all. Let him have fun explaining all of the bruises and my head. Why would he take the bath mat out after I've gotten in the tub? It's like he wanted something to happen. For a dancer my balance sucks. Or at least it does now. I want to go visit the other girls and make sure they're okay. But I also don't want to risk Michael finding them. Or risk Lucas locking me down there. Oh well. I venture down the hall and get the key out of a drawer and unlock the door. I put the key back and walk down the stairs. Making sure I shut the door.
"Hey guys. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Things have just been...a bit rough. I haven't exactly had the chance."
"It's okay." Stacia says.
"Yea we understand." Amanda agrees.
"He hasn't been bothering you guys has he? I mean I try to keep him occupied up there so he won't come down here. I mean obviously he needs to feed all of you. Has he been feeding you?"
"We haven't eaten since you were down here last. We haven't seen him at all." Sarah says.
"That's my fault. I'm sorry. I can go get something?"
"He still beats you worse than he ever beat us doesn't he?" Aria asks.
"Only when I don't behave. Let me go get some food. How about grilled cheese and chips? I'll try to find some anyway..." They just nod. I know they feel bad for me. I feel bad for me. I'm not like Ashley. I don't enjoy what he does. I make their grilled cheese and find a couple bags of chips. I even find a pack of cookies. I hand each of them a sandwich and hand over the chips and cookies. "I dont know when I'll be back. I'm sorry. Things aren't okay right now. How's the baby?" I ask not seeing him.
"He's dead." Ashley responds emotionlessly
"What? I just saw him two days ago. What do you mean dead?"
"He was sick. He had a high fever. No one came to check on us. So we couldn't tell anyone anything was wrong."
"I am so sorry. Where is he?"
"Over in that chest."
"Okay. I'll bury him. Or you can keep him if you want."
"No. Take him. I never really loved him anyway." Is that how I'll feel if Lucas is ever successful at getting me pregnant? Some part of me says yes.
"I'm seriously so sorry I let this happen. I'll come back as soon as I can." I pick up the trunk he's supposed to be in and carry it upstairs. I lock the door and replace the key. Then I carry the case to the bedroom sitting it next to the door. I hope he sees it. And I hope he opens it. I go find another pillow in the closet and grab a blanket. Hopefully he'll see I'm not in bed and go away. I decide to go wrap myself in the blanket like a taco and lay in the bathtub. I fall asleep and dream of my own baby.