The Lost Roses

Chapter Sixteen

"Zoey. ZOEY. ZOEY!"
"What..." I groan wanting the yelling to stop.
"Get up."
"Ugh. Fuck off." I try to stick my head under the couch pillow but it's taken away. And I'm hit with it. "What the hell Lucas? Go away."
"No I won't go away. Get your ass up." He hits with me the pillow until I sit up.
"Go the fuck away. Seriously. Ugh. I hate you."
"Do you want to explain yourself?"
"What is there to explain? You're a dick and you run away from your issues."
"Well at least I didn't hit you. At least I'm fucking trying. At least I'm not getting so drunk I pass out."
"Drinking is better than dealing with your bullshit."
"What is wrong with you?"
"You. You are what is wrong with me. You get pissed about random shit that you shouldn't even get pissed about. I would think given the past couple days you would believe I'm not going anywhere. That I don't plan on betraying you." I get up and stomp upstairs and the up the next set of stairs to the bedroom. I lay in bed hoping he fucks off and leaves me alone.
"You know I opened that trunk wondering what I would find. Do you know What I found?" Of course he won't leave me alone.
"I can only imagine."
"Luca. He was dead in the chest. He was killed. He was beaten and killed. His neck was broken."
"That makes two kids you've lost. Big deal." He slaps me in response.
"God you're such an aggravatingly agressive bitch. You're unappreciative and rude."
"And guess who made me this way! Just go away!" I start crying before I even finish. I curl into a ball and just cry into my pillow. "Loving you hurts too much. You have a brother that's probably murdered someone and you're really fucked up. Like seriously. I thought something was wrong. I didn't really expect a story like that. And I'm sorry but I don't completely believe it. After everything you've put me through I don't feel like kidnapping and beating people. None except you."
"Why would I lie? Michael is the least of my concerns. He's a grown up. I thought by telling you you would understand more. But you don't. You seem to hate me more for having a reason for being messed up. I didn't choose to be this way."
"No. But you chose what came after."
"That's true. Zoey I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know how many time you want me to say it." He sniffs like he's trying not to cry.
"You are not crying. You don't even have that right. You, of all people."
"Why don't I?"
"Because you're a sick, abusive, bastard! You have no reason to cry."
"I lost not one, but two babies. Why don't I have a reason?"
"Please. You didn't care about him. You couldn't even remember to go feed them. It's good he's dead. Now they have no DNA for you."
"All you care about is me getting caught."
"You would be too if you were smart. Then again smart people don't do things you've done. At least I do care. If I didn't someone would know what you've done by now."
"I doubt that."
"You're such an egotistical ass."
"And you're an ungrateful bitch. What's your point?"
"Ugh! I hate you! You deserve to be treated the way you've treated all of us. You deserve to be beaten senseless." I grab my pillow and start hitting him with it.
"Do you want something a little harder? There's a baseball bat in the closet."
"Sure." He goes to the closet and gets it out. Seriously. He is unbelievably stupid. "I can't fucking stand you."
"Then hit me."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't believe in beating people for mis-behaving."
"I do." He tries to take away the bat and I hit him with it. And hit him again. And again. And another four times. Then I throw it to the side and run out of the room crying. Why does he have to do this. It's like he wants me to react a certain way and won't stop until I do. I go sit on the front porch. I don't even know if he's still alive. I tried not to hit him in the head. I feel bad. I thought given the chance to hit him and abuse him the way he did all of us would make me feel better. But it didn't. I just feel worse. Like I've stooped to his level.
"You really know how to use a bat."
"Softball. Are you okay?" I ask sniffing.
"I'm in a bit of pain. But I'll live. Thank you for not hitting me in the head."
"I'm sorry. I told you I didn't want to."
"I know. Which is why I made you think I was going to take it and use it on you. You deserve a little revenge." He sits next to me and I hug him. He wraps his arms around me and I put my head on his shoulder. We sit that way for a while.
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too. Which is why I don't want to find you passed out drunk again."
"It just helps me forget. It helps me imagine we're a normal couple."
"I get it. But I don't think you need alcohol for that."
"Maybe not. But I like it."
"Let's go to bed." He says with a sigh. He picks me up and caries me to bed.
"You have a bad habit of carrying me."
"Do you really care?"
"No." He lays me down and takes off his tee, shorts, and boots before laying down. After he gets settled I scoot closer and lay my head on him. "I'm really sorry I hit you. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I just felt like crap. Like I had stooped to your level. I know that sounds bad. But you aren't always the nicest person."
"I'm trying to be. I'm sorry I hit you."
"I needed it." And it's true. I needed to be taken down a couple levels.
"No one needs to be hit. Except me. I deserve worse than what you did."
"Well I won't be the one doing it."
"We're going shopping tomorrow. The girls are getting baths, dressed, and dumped."
"Okay. I miss you."
"We're always together?"
"I know. But we don't spend any real time together. We're either fighting or eating or sleeping or having sex. Or talking about one of those."
"Uhh. You may be right."
"I know I'm right. I mean I don't mind those last three. Especially the last one. I love this bed and I love being in it with you. But I also want to do stuff outside of the bedroom. The club was fun. The party at Courtney's was fun. Even dinner with Michael. I even enjoyed shopping at the stripper shop. And the look on your face when I walked up to you was priceless. It was like I was the sexiest chick you've ever seen. I liked that. It made me feel good about myself for a change."
"Well you seriously looked gorgeous. And just seeing that garter and those panties on you... And I really like that dress. It was perfect. The back dip stopped at your lower back and the front was one modest but showed enough to make anyone curious. I'd like to see what you come up with next."
"Well I'm full of surprises. So maybe we'll go out to dinner to celebrate once the girls are gone. And I'll pick another dress for you."
"I'd like that."
"Cool. Now we need to sleep. It's late. I think. It feels late."
"It is. It's a little past midnight." Jeeze.
"Well it was 8 when I woke up and you were cooking. We were up for about an hour. Then we fought. Then I was up for another 30 minutes to an hour exploring and getting drunk. Which means I was passed out for about an hour and a half give or take. I felt like I was sleeping longer."
"Alcohol does that."
"Hm. Did you know you're incredibly attractive?"
"I've been told that from time to time."
"Well they weren't lying. You are seriously attractive."
"Are you still a little drunk?"
"Yupp." I say popping the p. His lips are fun to watch. Especially when he's talking. They're really soft for a guys lips and kinda feminine looking.
"Are you listening?" I look up at his eyes and then shake my head no continuing to look at his lips. I start leaning closer not even realizing I'm doing it until our lips touch. I know I've taken him by surprise because he doesn't move. I move and straddle his waist still slowly kissing him. He moves his hands to my waist to help keep me in place.
"It's okay. You have a chick on top of you and you're barely even reacting." He doesn't say anything. He just pulls me closer kissing me more enthusiastically than before. He flips us over and removes my underwear before flipping us back over and taking off my t-shirt. "It's not fair if I'm naked and you're not." I say pouting slightly. He turns us over again and removes his boxers turning us over one last time so I'm on top.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I want to be in control for a change. So yea, I do." With that he lifts me up and places me on his hard length. We start at a relatively slow pace. Speeding up once we get our rhythm together. I've never really gotten to watch him react. And he's gorgeous. He's like a Greek statue come to life.  Only better because he's not pale, he's  pretty well muscled, and he's definitely more well endowed. When we finish I collapse on top of him too tired to move.
"You are gorgeous." He says breathing heavily.
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you." I say kissing him sloppily and breathing just as heavily. I think I can sleep now. I roll off of him and still lay my head on him.
"That was spontaneous."
"I like spontaneity."
"I think it's a bit exhausting not knowing what you're going to do."
"Ditto. Let's go to sleep now." He kisses me once more and turns off the bedside lamp. I drift off listening to his heart beat, as usual.