The Lost Roses

Chapter Nine

I wake up to Lucas hovering over me watching me sleep.
"Why are you watching me?"
"Why are you asleep in the bathtub?"
"I like it here."
"I wasn't watching you.  I was going to go to the bathroom and saw you sleeping. I was about to wake you up when you woke up on your own. I want to know why that old trunk is up here from the basement."
"Have you opened it? 'Cause you should." I want to see the shock on his face when he finds his dead baby all on his own.
"Fine. I will. After I go to the bathroom. And shower. And fuck you. And check your head."
"And if I say no?"
"You won't." I wish he wasn't right... of course I won't. I don't really want to get beaten again today. I'm just fortunate he wasn't wearing his new boots. "Get the blanket and pillow and put them away. I'll be waiting. And I'm not a very patient person. So make it quick." Stupid asshole. Fuck. I wish he would just go away. I'm not eager to get back to him but I also know he'll beat me if I don't get in there soon. So I walk into the bathroom. Of course he runs a bath and not the shower. "Well? Strip. Get in here." I do as he asks hating every second. "The water feels great." He says sighing and sinking a little deeper into the tub. He pulls me closer to him and I feel like he's going to drown me. "I've been thinking about the girls like I said I would. We're going to go from here to Ohio. That's where we'll drop the first girl. Then we'll go to New York. We'll drop the second girl there. Then we'll go to Maine, followed by Rhode Island, Virginia, South Carolina, and Florida. We'll drop a girl in each state. Not really close enough to each other to randomly meet and far enough from here for us to not have to worry. It will be around a 93 hour trip. Or four days. I haven't completely decided how I'll do it. Maybe I'll keep them drugged the entire trip. And in a windowless van. I have the van already. And the money for the trip. And the drugs. I guess I do have everything planned."
"Except how you're going to explain those girls to Michael."
"Well, given the fact I sent him on his merry way earlier, he won't be a problem anymore. And he can't ruin anything else for me. Seeing what is mine naked once on accident is acceptable. Twice is not."
"That wasn't his fault. Either time. The first was mine for not locking the door. I was a bit distracted. And the second was yours. You shouldn't have taken the mat out."
"You don't know how long he was watching you before he decided to wake you up."
"Well maybe I just have good faith." Although I don't know how I could trust anyone.
"Well we shall find out." I don't even want to know what he means by that. "Turn and face me." I slosh around until I'm kneeling in front of him. Unfortunately the water isn't high enough to cover all of me. Leaving my boobs exposed to him. He reaches a hand out and I look away. I don't need to watch him violate me. It's bad enough I can feel it. When he sees he isn't going to get a response out of me he removes his hand. "What's wrong?" Is he delusional? Because he must be to ask me something like that. I just give him an 'are you fucking kidding me' look and he nods his head. "Okay. So I hit you. Big deal. You were being disrespectful and you know the rules."
"Yes. Yes I do. But I was also told not to be afraid to talk to you. And it's not like I knew you were home, much less behind me, when I was talking to Michael."
"What do you want from me?"
"To let me die. My whole family is gone. Except Nova. My poor cat is probably dead now. Or getting fat from some crazy old cat lady. You say no one is looking for me but I still have friends. Unluckily both of my parents were only children. And my brother's girlfriend left when he died and wouldn't talk to us. Like it was our fault he died. He would have made it. They just couldn't get to him in time. He bled to death. He got both of his legs blown off, and died. But maybe that's better. At least he's not here being held captive."
"I never would have taken a cripple."
"I didn't mean being held captive by you. I meant by a chair. Or a bed. I didn't want to have to see him depend on everyone else. He's five years older. I should depend on him. Not the other way around. So it is best he died. But that doesn't mean I don't wish he had have stayed at camp instead of volunteering to go out. But nooo. He had to be a good soldier. I miss him more than I miss my parents. He was thousands of miles away and it felt like he never left home. My parents could be in the same room and it felt like they were in another universe. He meant the world to me. And I, to him."
"You guys were really close?"
"Close is an understatement. We told each other everything. He was the first and only one to find out I had sex. I mean that's not something you typically tell your big brother but I was so freaked out about it. I didn't enjoy it at all. It was painful and uncomfortable and the guy was too big. There was just too much going on. And I tried again a second time. He was perfectly happy and finished. Not so much for me. I will never orgasm during sex. I think that has been made pretty clear. I never have. And I don't think I ever will. That's including with you."
"But I've asked you before. Almost every time I ask you. And your body responds so well. It does enjoy the pleasure."
"And I say yes hoping you'll stop. And you do. Why would I say no, knowing you'll just keep going in an attempt to make me? This whole experience would be ten times worse if I did. Then that would mean my body enjoys being used and abused. But my mind? My mind does not enjoy it. Just because my body responds sometimes does not mean I've orgasmed. Or that I enjoy it."
"Well you're right. I would have kept trying. But only because I believe in sexual fulfillment for both parties."
"Yea. Well, if we're done here I want to go. I'm tired. And vaguely hungry. And I just really wish you had some drugs here. Not the medical kind you have to inject me with. But the all natural kind you find people smoking all the time. And it is legal here after all."
"Weed? I didn't take you as a stoner."
"I'm not. I've never even smoked before. Any substance. I have been drunk off my ass before though. Now let me tell you, that is a fun time."
"Who are you?"
"The same girl I've always been. You've just made me stop caring. I know you have booze around here somewhere. I'm gonna go find some." I stand up and step out of the tub being ten times more careful this time so I don't slip. I grab a bath robe and walk out. I grab a pair of lacy somethings from the dresser and slip them on. Leaving the robe on the floor. I'm not going to give him what he wants. So I am going to enjoy this.