Chapter 30

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"Ryan..." Her weak voice whispers.

I look up at her.

"Let me explain" she says.

I nod. "Please do. And tell the truth this time."

She bites her lip, and looks back down. Her makeup is smeared all over her face, and there is no way I can stay mad at her.

"I knew I wasn't going to be able to run from him, I told you this. So I thought the best way to get the bomb off his mind was to distract him. And I didn't plan to have sex with him, maybe seduce him and he'd push me off and leave. But he didn't.... It was probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. I should've known he would continue to...." she trails off.

So she was still trying to protect the Agents of Secret Stuff. "It's okay" I say unconvincingly, the thought that Ashley still lied to me bounces around in my head.

"Do you know how ashamed I was, still am, to seduce a guy like that? That's why I didn't tell you. You would have never understood" she says.

"Seduce? You had sex!" I exclaim, but I regret it immediately when I see tears form again in her eyes.

"It still was rape. Maybe I did seduce him, but after that everything was unwanted by me. He held me down and told me to 'take what I was asking for'" Ashley says, glaring at me.

My eyes water and I realize I'm starting to cry as well. "I'm so sorry I accused you Ashley" I apologize.

Silence.

"Please, forgive me" I plead, my voice cracking.

She looks angry and sad at the same time. She still doesn't say anything and I feel heartbroken.

"Actually, don't forgive me. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just don't want to lose you Ashley, you know what it's like to lose someone you love" I say.

She looks at me and I wait for a reaction. Her head moves slightly down, a nod. "Okay, I don't think I can forgive you again" she says, her voice melancholy.

I was so lucky to have her forgive me the first time, after I beat her. And here I am, ruining it.

"You won't lose me though, especially if we can get out of here" she says and I smile.

"Okay, have any ideas on how to get out of here?" I ask.

Her eyes look behind me. "Are you handcuffed to that thing?" she asks, referring to the pole.

"Yeah" I say.

She frowns and my heart drops, thinking that confirms our doom.

"I have an idea, but you're not going to like it" she says.

"If it gets us out of here, I'll love it" I say.

"You're going to have to dislocate your thumb" she replies.

"What? Why?" I say.

"Once dislocated you can tuck the joint under your hand, and slip it through the handcuff" she explains.

This is going to hurt. "How should I break it?" I ask.

"Can you get in a squat position?" she responds.

I tuck my feet under my body and push up so I'm in a squatting position.

"I think you should break your left thumb, since you're right handed" she says.

"Okay, now what?" I say, eager to get this over with.

"Try to get your hands around the pole and on the same side of your body. Just stretch your right arm so you can easily sit on your left hand" she says.

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