Sinner

Chapter 8

"Come on" Ryan says beginning to walk out of the room.

"Wait" I say, my fear preventing me from moving.

"What is it now?" Ryan groans, clearly annoyed and ready to make me his human punching bag- not that he hasn't done that already.

"Don't talk about my family ever again" I say.

"Don't talk about Arden" he says. At the mention of her name the tension in the room is so thick you could slice it with a knife.

"I didn't kill her" I say with a low voice.

"I didn't kill your family" Ryan says matching my pitch.

"I never said you did. So stop acting like I killed Arden!" I say, my voice getting louder.

Ryan raises his voice too. "Then stop acting like I killed your family" he yells.

"I'm in this shitty mood because of you. If you actually used your small brain you would see how unsympathetic you are! I come here after years of being forced to work with a society that took me from my family, my friends, my semi-normal life. I have to deal with you treating me like I'm Osama Bin Laden! I've been a pawn in the S.I.N.S.'s chess game, just like you!"

"Are you calling me stupid?" Ryan whispers. If there was a temperature for his tone of voice it would be below freezing.

"If you honestly think that I'm a fucked up psychopath that enjoys killing people, then yes I think you're stupid" I say.

Something changes right then. I can see it in Ryan's face. It sort of relaxes.

Ryan takes a breath in and then releases it, his broad chest rises up and down.

I hate to admit it but as my eyes now examine the rest of his body, I have to admit he is good looking.

"I'm sorry" he says. The words are so quiet at first I think I'm imagining it.

My eyes dart to meet his. "What?" I ask.

"You're right. I- I guess I needed some person to blame for all this. Then you came along. A perfect opportunity to let off steam" he admits.

I feel a new kind of tension between Ryan and I now. I may have a high I.Q. but I have no idea what this feeling could be.

"I get it Ryan, I do. I'm sorry too" I say.

"For what?" Ryan asks and I see his face is glued to mine, full attention on me.

What am I sorry for? "I should be more sympathetic to you as well. You've lost a lot recently, whether it's because of me or not" I say. That sounds right.

"It's definitely not your fault" I hear him say. Boy do those words sound great coming from his mouth.

Ryan steps closer to me. Here, in the middle of this room full of weapons, the violence that had been going on both physically and mentally between Ryan and I ironically disappears.

We stand there staring at each other. Two stubborn fools staring at each other.

And I feel it, the pull-the electricity between us-tangible, drawing us together. Suddenly he grabs me and pushes me up against the door, his mouth on mine, claiming me hungrily, one hand on my behind pressing me to his groin and the other in the nape of my hair, tugging my head back. My fingers are in his hair, twisting hard, holding him to me. He grinds his body into mine, imprisoning me, his breathing ragged. I feel him. He wants me, and I'm heady and reeling with excitement as I acknowledge his need for me.

"Why, why do you defy me?" he mumbles between his heated kisses.

"I'm done defying you if we can manage to somewhat overlook the past" I say when he pulls away.

"I'll never forget Arden, but you're teaching me how to move on. How unlikely... but thank you" Ryan says and for the first time I see him smile. It's so beautiful. The way it shows off his white teeth and makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, immediately I'm hypnotized.

I think to myself, of all the years working with the S.I.N.S., have I ever seen such a beautiful smile? No, I answer my own question. People who work in the Society Involving Not-So-Good Stuff never smile.

Ryan and I finally walk out of the room, with me asking myself- what the hell just happened?