The Other Twin: the story of Renesmee's twin.

Chapter 19

"Aunt Alexa! Can we play outside?" Alexandra says, bouncing up and down in her chair. Everyone is out hunting, so I am with all the kids. I figured wth one more won't hurt. "After we get dressed silly! You don't want to get sick do you?" I say, widening my gold eyes for effect. She giggles, and nods before finishing her waffles. "Okay, go upstairs, I'll be there in a minute!" I tell Emily and Alex, who take off towards the stairs. "You two, are much easier than them." I say, and Jaden and John smile. I laugh before picking them up from their play mat, and going upstairs. "Okay! It is snowing, so snow boots and jackets for both of you!" I say pulling the clothes out of the closet. "I want the pink one!" Emily screams, and Alex giggles. "Okay, Okay! Down girl!" I say laughing. I put Em in sweatpants, a pink shirt, and put her jacket and boots on. Then I put the same on Alex, except I put the purple jacket on her. Then I put both of the girls hair in pigtails, and send them downstairs to watch tv while I get myself and the twins ready. They giggle, and run down the stairs. I put on jeans, boots, a tshirt, and pull on my coat. Then I put my giggly twins into matching yellow long sleeved onesies, with fuzzy bumble-bee pants, and fuzzy socks. Then I put on their hats, mittens, and put them into this fancy stroller that is heated. Then I go downstairs, put the girls earmuffs and gloves on, and we go outside. "Tag! Your it!" Emily yells, tagging Alexandra. Alex giggles, and chases her down with no problem. "No fair! Using vampire speed is cheating!" Emily pouts, and Alex laugh. "Fine! Be that way!" She says, before counting to ten, and running at a fast paced human speed. I sit on the patio chair, and watch them. 'Mommy!' Jaden yells in her mind. I look at her and she reaches her arms up. I laugh, and pick her up. Hugging her close to me, and wrapping her in a blanket. "Mommy! They are coming back!" Emily screeches, and then jumps into Emmets arms. "Emmy bear!" She squeals, and hugs his neck. He laughs, and whispers something in her ear. She giggles and nods, before making a snowball, and throwing it at Rosalie's back. Rosalie turns around, scoops up Em before running around like an airplane with Emily on her back. I smile at my family getting along. "Go. Have fun. I'll watch my grandkids!" Dad says, reading my mind. "Yay! Thank you!" I say, before handing Jaden to him, and saying, "you be good! Keep John in line." Jaden giggles, and snuggles deeper into my dads chest. I turn around, and run towards the snow. I go over to Alex who is playing in the snow alone, and say, "Do you wanna build a snowman?" She nods, and pulls me over to a place where the snow is flat. We build a practically perfect snowman, and play with each other for a long time. Truthfully, I felt like her. Emily was the favorite. She was human! So, I made it my job to make Alexandra feel welcome and loved. "Kids! Come inside before you all freeze!" Esme yells at us like the mother she is. Renesmee come and picks up Alex, and I go inside, where Mom is playing with the twins, and Emily is riding around the house to Emmets back. "Emmet if you break my child you have to fix her!" I yell at him as he jumps off the couch. "He won't." Dad says, kissing my cheek, and going to the couch. I go into the room with the piano, and sit down at the bench. "I have a crazy idea, let's get married." I remember Seth saying. I hope he's alright, I haven't seen or heard from him in a few days. My fingers brush over the keys, and I remember playing for Seth. I sigh in happiness at the memory, and push down on one of the keys. "You play?" My dad asks, raising an eyebrow. I smile, and look down at my feet. "Yeah, I learned before I left." I say. He frowns at the mention of my leaving. "Don't ever leave again." He says, a sad look in his eyes. "I don't really have anywhere to go. I can't go back to Jaden's. It would be way to much for me, and in my defense, I didn't really even know if I could handle being here when I came. I didn't know if I would be coming back to my so called childhood home." I say, avoiding his eyes. "Alexa, I can't begin to say how sorry I am about how I treated you. We all feel bad. Really bad." He says sincerely. "No, no. I know. I just can't stop the nightmares, you know? It's like every time I think that I am comfortable, I go to sleep, and I'm back in my terror." I say, admitting my feelings for the first time. He comes and sits next to me on the bench. "Your like you mom. She used to have terrible nightmares. But you have to remember that it's not real." He says, looking into my eyes. "I know, but in my mind, it seems like I am a child again, living it all over again. Every time I close my eyes." I say, and push down they keys in a pattern, starting to play the song I played for Seth. "You have gotten really good! I remember when we used to play together." He says smiling. "Um that was Renesmee." I say, playing the song louder. He has mixed my childhood with Nessies. They all have. They think the did things with me, but they didn't. I sat in my room, practiced ballet, and played piano. That was it. "Alexa! Calm down!" My dad shouts over the piano. I realize that I am pushing on the keys so hand that my veins are bulging. I stop playing and run outside. I push through the door, and run out into the snow, trying to escape the bubble that feels like it's closing in on me. I consider running, but can't. I won't leave my kids, the only people who I feel one hundred percent at home with. I fall to my knees, and let my tears fall. "Ally." Alice says walking to my side, and wrapping her arms around me. "I-I-I-I'm sorry." I choke out. "For what? You've done nothing wrong." She says wiping my tears away. "I cracked. I promised myself I'd be fine." I say, remembering what I told myself on the drive here. She looks at me for an explanation, and I wipe my nose on my sleeve. "I promised myself that I'd be brave. That I'd smile and be friendly, but I'm falling apart inside. I have horrible nightmares every night, and I just wish that I could be happy. For once. I feel like bad things just happen to me." I say between sobs. She sigh, and pulls me in tighter. "I love you. You know that don't you?" She says in my ear. I nod, and wipe my eyes. "They all love you too. They just don't understand how broken you are. They fall for your act. But I don't. I know your upset. I know that you try so hard, and that you just fall apart sometimes. But I also know that you'll be fine. You'll forgive. You'll be happy." She says, and smiles at me. "Thank you. For always loving me. Even as a child, the only person that held me here for as long as I stayed was you. Your my anchor." I say, and hug her back. "I didn't have a choice. As soon as I saw you I knew you were special, and instantly fell in love." She says, the kisses my head. "Now, let's March back I there, and try to be brave. But you know, you don't have to pretend with us. We're your family, and they have all defiantly been listening, so they understand now." She says and I nod. I stand up, and go inside. "Alexa-" my mom starts, but I interrupt her. "I'm fine." I try to lie. I go over to where John and Jaden are crying, and take them into my arms. "I love you both. I hope you never forget that." I tell them, and kiss each of their foreheads. Then I put them in their pack n play, and go over to where Emily is laying in the couch. "I love you Em." I say, and hug her to me tightly. "I love you too mommy." She says, and wraps her little arms around my neck. Then I put her down, and walk over to where my family is standing. "I know that you all are trying to understand. I wish I could explain, but sometimes I just break. I sometimes feel like there is no getting better for me. I remember my early days here, and I literally get goosebumps, but I know they are gone. I know that your trying to make it up to me, and I appreciate it, but I'm done pretending. Honestly the only person I ever felt loved me was Alice. Then I met Jaden. She made me happy. She pushed me to come here. So I did. And as always, she was right. I expected to find the same people, but I didn't. I found my family." I say, and look down. Immediately, I am hugged my everyone around me. "We love you. Just as much as you love those beautiful children of yours." My mother says, and wraps her arms around me again. I smile, and hug her back. "Okay! Enough of this! I made hot chocolate! And we are making Christmas cookies, because FYI Christmas is in 2 days!" Esme says, her smile widening as she mentions Christmas. I smile, and say," This will be my first Christmas with all of you." The smile, and hug me again. "It's gonna be the best Christmas ever!" Rosalie shouts, and leads everyone into the kitchen. I pick up the twins and hug them to me. Then I lead Emily into the kitchen, and sigh as I see the whole family around the huge table, decorating cookies, and goofing around. "Mom! I want to make a Christmas tree one!" Emily shouts, and drags me to the table. Alice takes Jaden, and sits next to me. "Mommy! I drew John!" Emily says, pointing to a big glob of icing that somewhat resembles a baby. I laugh, "it's beautiful!" She smile, and John try's to eat the the frosting on the table. "Not this time my baby." I say, and kiss his cheek. 'We love you too.' John thinks, and lays his head in my chest.