Little broken birds {ed sheeran & One direction fanfiction}

Chapter 27

(Ed’s POV)

I don’t see the point anymore. I poured my heart out to her because I thought she would understand, but then just a few days later she throws my honesty back in my face.

She doesn’t care about me. She broke up with me for her own selfish reasons.

You know that’s not true Ed, she might hate you now but there’s no way that what she did was selfish.

But why would she do it?

Surely she felt the energy in those kisses we shared under the old oak tree. I know I sure did. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, not even with Alice.

When I had been with Alice, we were great together. I loved her. But it’s different with Iz. It’s almost like we are MADE to be together.

But clearly she doesn’t feel the same way.

So what is the point?

Everyone I ever love leaves me in the end.

Sara, Alice, Izzy. Even some of my fans are starting to lose faith is me now.

Not that I can blame them, I’ve cancelled a load of the concerts.

I just can’t go out there and sing all those songs, like give me love, Lego house, and grade eight. They’d remind me too much of Alice AND Izzy now.

So even though I know I’ve disappointed them by postponing the gigs, it’s less of a disappointment than me breaking down on stage right in front of them.

But I can’t explain that to them.

My love life has always been the one part of my ‘private life’ that has remained almost completely private.

A few fans know about Alice, the really dedicated ones who piece all of the interviews together and the songs and then they realise. Some of them have even somehow managed to find her on Facebook apparently. How, I will never know but they have.

It’s surprising that Niall hasn’t found out yet.

You’d think that with all of the random sheerios adding her on Facebook and Twitter that the penny would have dropped already.

Not to mention how awkward it is for me whenever I’m in the same room as her.

But I guess he’s too loved up to notice.

As I said before, I don’t have the will for this anymore.

I don’t want to be alive. I can’t be without her.

I hold the razor blade up to the light, looking at it.