Little broken birds {ed sheeran & One direction fanfiction}

Chapter 25

(Izzy’s POV)

I know cloe won’t leave, recently she’s made sure that there’s always someone with me.

It’s because that’s what the doctors told her the last time I was ill.

I’ve just gotta wait.

I can’t live like this anymore.

I’ve hurt Ed, the person I really care about, he’s broken again because of me.

Why am I such a bitch?

Why am I so hateful?

Why do I have to be stuck with this ugly body?

Why can’t I be beautiful like the girls in the magazines and all the female celebrities?

Why do i….

“Izzy?” Cloe snapped me out of my torture. That’s what it’s always like when I think now.

Torture.

Painful.

Shattering.

Destructive.

“Izzy? Are you listening?” she snapped me out again.

“Yeah.” I whisper quietly.

“I’m just popping out to go and see Harry. I’ll be an hour tops okay? Louis is in his flat next door with El if you need him.” She gave me a hug as she walked out.

I’m alone.

There’s no one here to help me.

No one to stop me.

Louis could walk in, but by then it could be too late.

None of them care about me, none of them give a shit about me anymore.

As soon as they find out about my depression and my past the famous one direction won’t want anything to do with me. Just a matter of time before I’m completely alone.

Cloe will live with Harry.

They’ll all go on tour.

They won’t want to invite me, so I’ll be alone.

Just like when mum left me.

But I can be with mum again.

She’ll be happy to see me.

I’ll be better off.

I walk over to my bed and pull up the mattress to find the little bottle.

I’d been collecting them, the pills.

Cloe thought I’d been taking my anti-depressants again, but I’d just been collecting them up until I knew there were enough.

That’s the thing about pills, most of them help you.

They help you relieve your pain.

And if you take more than you’re supposed to, then they completely relieve you of ALL of your pain.

That’s what I need.

I need to escape the pain.

Cloe might be upset for a while, and Harry, and maybe even HIM.

But they’ll get over it eventually.

They’ll realise that they’re better off without me.

I unscrew the lid.

Oh, I’ll need some water.

I walk to the sink in the kitchen and pour myself a big glass of water from the tap.

Maybe I’ll put on some music, so I can relax.

I look for a CD, until I see the familiar orange one.

Perfect.

I click through to find the perfect song.

I tip the pills into my hand, and swallow them.

Then I chug down the water.

I click play and just sit on the floor, waiting for it all to end, as I listen to his voice.

This is the start of something beautiful,
this is the start of something new.
You are the one that made me lose it all,
you are the start of something new.
And I’ll throw it all away and watch you fall into my arms again,
and I’ll throw it all away and watch you fall now……..

My final thoughts were I love you.

I love you Ed Sheeran.