The three kings of hell

Mission: Whacked off

[File thwacks onto desk]

I.M.P Case File:

TARGET: Paulie Paesano AKA The Gabagool Tool
LOCATION: Caldwell, New Joisey
DESCRIPTION: Mobster son of famous mafia crime boss Luigi Paesano
INFO:
Little schmuck whacked me after I caught him skimming our inventory.
He has no part in this family and I want him gone and out of the boss' hair for good.

Moxxie: (voiceover) Sir, are you sure you want me doing this job alone? Was this on purpose?

Blitzo: (voiceover) Of course, Mox...

[Cuts Blitzo and Millie in their fishing gear on a boat in a swamp.]

Blitzo: ...cause me and Millie are going leeching!

Millie: [singsongy] I'm gonna harpoon me a big ol' leech! [sticks her harpoon into the edge of the boat]

Both: LEECH! LEECH! LEECH! LEECH! LEECH!

[Cuts to the scene where Moxxie has already reached the Paesano mansion, looking through a window and looking apprehensive as he watches a father-son confrontation between his target Paulie and Paulie's father Luigi.]

Luigi: You disobeyed me. You disrespected me, and now one of my most trusted confidantes is dead. I don't know where I went wrong in raising youse.

Paulie: Tommy Two-Holes was a rat, you gotta believe me! I did what I had to do, for you! For this family!

[Moxxie crawls on a wall like a lizard, quite suitably, and enters the building through a small window as the conversation between the father and son goes on.]

Luigi: Don't gimme that shit, Paulie. You never gave a fettuccini fuck about this family. I give you everything and this is what I get in return? Get out of my sight.

[While Luigi is scolding Paulie, Moxxie walks up to the door they are talking behind, then proceeds to climb up and behind a statue of an angel opposite the door, which Paulie then opens.]

Paulie: [enraged] Fuck! FUCK!

[Paulie then flips his father off behind a closed door, with Moxxie observing him. A spider descends next to Moxxie's head, who then slaps it away. He peeks from the statue's left side and hides just before Paulie had a chance to see him.]

Paulie: Oh great scary angel on the wall, I'm Catholic, or something! I'm beseechin' youse and all that junk! I needs to be free of my father!

[Moxxie takes a deep breath and accidentally swallows the spider, causing him to gag and groan.]

Moxxie: Ah- ah- ah- AH- [soft sneeze].

Paulie: Hey, you sneezed! I heard it!

Moxxie: [taken aback, then adopting a different voice] V-verily I am an angel! [normal voice] Boo.

Paulie: *two eyes closed while hand is a fist* Yes! I knew you was real! Now you gotta grant an angel wish, yeah? *hand on chin while other hand on hip*

Moxxie: [angelic voice] I- I- uh- Ooooh! L-l-let us not moveth so quickly, the aaangel needeth more details, mayhap.

Paulie: I- I, uh, I mean look, I ain't perfect, but... I always put them beads in on Sunday. Plus, my pops, he's a mob boss! That's... that means he's a real bad guy by comparison. So you gotta help me! Right, mister angel?

Moxxie: *two arms crossed* He got ye into this life of crimeth, did he not?

Paulie: I've been doin' this for him since I was a little kid! And nothin's ever changed.

Moxxie: And does he treateth thee like... Shiiit-ith?

Paulie: Aw yeah, he treats me like I'm a real mook. A schmuck! A jabroni! You know, like a uh- uh...