The three kings of hell

Mission: Big boss

[File thwacks onto desk]

I.M.P Case File:

TARGET: William Diddle
LOCATION: Douchecorp Headquarters
DESCRIPTION: White, middle-aged, obvious toupee, most punchable face you've ever seen.
INFO:
CEO of Douchecorp, one of the biggest companies on Earth. Polar bear burgers are his favorite meal.

Total douchebag.

[The scene cuts to a skyscraper on a sunny day.]

Blitzo: Ow, ow, ow!

[We see the target, William Diddle, sitting at his desk. He is smoking a cigar whilst reading a couple of reports. In the background, moaning can be heard, as well as metallic noises.]

Moxxie: We don't all fit, sir.

Millie: Ow! Your horns are in my face!

Blitzo: Dammit Moxxie, move your ass! I need a better angle!

[It turns out that the three imps are crawling in a vent just above their target's head. They indeed don't fit, and have deformed the vent as a result.]

Moxxie: Sir! This is a terrible plan! I told you we could've just poisoned his daily coffee.

Blitzo: Wha- and ruin a perfectly good mochaccino? Not on your worthless life.

Millie: [sotto voce] Blitz, if you wanna kill him up close, why don't you just portal in behind him?

Blitzo: Because that's fucking boring, Millie. Shut up, my plan is good.

Moxxie and Millie: No it's not!

Blitzo: You know what, if you're just gonna shit on me and my plan, then there's the door, I'll take care of this myself.

[Blitzo rubs the Asmoden crystal on his hand and manifests a portal behind them.]

Millie: Blitz.

Blitzo: Go!

[Millie crawls back into the portal. Moxxie follows suit, but hesitates halfway through the portal. Millie then grabs him by the head and pulls him in.]

Blitzo: Question my decisions, try to make me feel stupid. I'm the fucking boss of this operation, and I deserve some fucking-

[Blitzo breaks the vent and falls out of it, screaming. He falls right on the target, which sends documents flying. He gets up, but there is blood dripping from his horns. A drop of blood falls on his nose, and it is revealed that he gored the target's head, which is stuck to his horn.]

Blitzo: How's that for a bad plan? Oh SHIT!

[Someone knocks on the door.]

Secretary: Mister Diddle? I have your coffee.

[Blitzo adopts a deeper voice, and pulls Diddle's dead body towards the desk, where he is crouching.]

Blitzo: Uhh, yeah. Just leave it there on the desk, toots.

Secretary: Um, sir? Why are you under there?

Blitzo: Uh... Yoga, or something. It's good for increasing business, brains, smarts, studies support the- what the fuck am I doing?

[While he's talking nonsense, he is trying to hide Diddle's body by pushing it under the desk, between the drawers. The body's backside is facing Blitzo, who is holding the dismembered head against the behind.]

Secretary: Wonderful idea, sir. I'll make sure every department head begins doing the same at once.

[The secretary pours coffee into a mug, while Blitzo stares behind the desk.]