The three kings of hell

Mission: Bad drivezo

[File lands on desk]

IMP File:

Target: Joe Smoe
Location: Backwards Ass, New Mexico
Description: I mean, just look at him.. y'know?
Info:
Loitered racistly.

[The short starts off rather intensely, with Blitzo and Moxxie driving racing in their van on Earth. Blitzo is simultaneously driving the van and aiming with a sniper rifle, much to Moxxie's dismay.]

Moxxie: [yelling] SIR! Focus on the road!

Blitzo: I'm- just making sure that it's the right guy, okay? Calm down Mox, I am a fantastic driver!

[Blitzo scopes in on the target, his hands shaking. He steers with his feet while pushing the pedal down with his tail.]

Blitzo: Hold on, I wonder if I could just-

[He fires the rifle and accidentally blows some biker's head off.]

Blitzo: Agh! Nope, almost had him.

Moxxie: Oh crumbs in a blanket. Just hold the wheel, I'll shoot.

[Moxxie takes the rifle, and aims for the target with much steadier hands.]

Moxxie: Nice and steady. Perfect. LOOK OUT!

[A red car enters the scene and hits their van. Moxxie drops the rifle.]

Blitzo: Oh fuck the shit back into my stomach!

[The IMP van seemingly hits the target's car, causing it to fall into a canyon and explode.]

Moxxie: Well... I guess that all worked out, then. Job well done, we can go home now.

[Blitzo started roaring and foaming at the mouth.]

Blitzo: That fucker cut me off.

Moxxie: Now sir, with all due respect, the mission was t-

Blitzo: [yelling] That fucker cut me off!

[Blitzo starts swerving with the van and chasing the red car.]

Moxxie: Sir, think about this for a second. Yes, this guy is a huge, gaping asshole. But killing him is a huge risk.

Blitzo: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just... [sigh] I'm gonna fucking yell at him or something. I haven't figured it out yet!

Moxxie: Also a bad idea, sir! But fine, if you must. Just catch up with him and get it over with.

Blitzo: [yelling] The fuck you think I'm trying to do, Mox?!

[The red car's driver continues speeding, and eliminates another car and a van.]

Moxxie: Gosh, yeah, he's really hightailing it. What do you think he's in such a hurry for?

Blitzo: I don't know, probably to go blow his fucking son!

Moxxie: What if it's a genuine emergency? What if he just found out a family member is in the hospital? Or what if he's late for a wedding and he's the best man, or-

Blitzo: Oh, look! Look, look, look! Look! Look! Right there, that's the same fucking spot I almost hit him. See, it's not my driving! It's the- it's the fucking thing he does!

Moxxie: I never said it was your driving, I'm just saying hypothetically.

[The red car hits several traffic cones, starts drifting and makes a U-turn.]

Blitzo: Oh yeah! Yeah, keep defending this.

Moxxie: I never did. In fact, I agree with you. But-

Blitzo: Buuut- but bleh bleh, but what?!