Qurban

•45• Truth / سچ

I am lost.
Altamash thought as he navigated the dark abyss. There were no light. No sound. Not a presence in sight. Everywhere was just darkness. Complete and utter blackness.

Altamash's feet came to a halt. As he hunched on his knees, breathed hard from his mouth, he realized his feet were aching, his lungs were aching, every fiber of his body ached. His throat was parched, his lips were dry. He's been walking, just trudging in this endless, vast space of nothingness for hours. Months, years, decades. He couldn't even know at this point.

He was tired. So tired of it all. He thought as his breath came back to him. His ears perked  up as a sound registered in his ears.

Soft, padded footsteps. Coming closer and closer. Until he could see a figure looming over him. He looked up, happy that someone has found him. But his face blanched, his eyes lost their hope as he stared into the soul-less eyes of the girl before him.

"You."

His voice quivered, like he has seen a ghost. In a way, he was face to face with one. Her face was still the same, those cheeks, those lips that once smiled so brightly at him, but those eyes...God those eyes were so scary. Hallow, like two black holes. Altamash felt scared. His heart beat wildly in his chest. God, he wanted to beg for forgiveness.

"You.... I'm... I'm so..."

"No."

Her voice was an echo. Like she wasn't here. Just her presence was here. Altamash stared at her, frozen in time, unable to move.

"You need to save her."

Altamash's eyes fluttered.

"Who? Who do I have to save?"

The girl before him, turned. Like she was about to go. Altamash stood up, ready to chase her if she left without answering his question

"No, please don't go.... wait."

The girl stopped, her eyes stared at him from over her shoulder. Altamash saw, eyes wide, face frozen in place as a smile broke through the girl's lips and Altamash felt the hit of that smile physically. He stumbled back, shocked to witness that serene smile again.

"Stop chasing me Altamash. I'm not the person you should apologize to."

Altamash felt his eyes prick. God, he wanted to cry. He wasn't deserving of that smile.

"I did so wrong by you. How could you even look at me."

Altamash's voice broke in the end, the girl smiled again, a ray of sunshine breaking through the haze of grey clouds.

"You never did anything wrong. I've never hated you. I never blamed you."

Altamash never thought such mild words would bring so much comfort. He slumped on his knees. Now crying as tears left his eyes like a waterfall. He didn't know if these were tears of gratitude, regret or pain.

The girl finally sat down in front of Altamash. Her soft voice followed like a caress

"Forgive yourself, Altamash."

Altamash jolted up in bed with a start. He was covered in sweat from head toe, his breathing was ragged and he was disoriented. It had been a long time, a very long time since he last saw her. She appeared so calm. Like she was happy to be wherever she was. Heaven, he hoped.

Placing hand on his face, he eyed the clock. It was half quarter to three. He got up from bed and involuntarily his feet carried him over to the other end of the corridor. The door stared at him as he contemplated his next move. Finally, his hand closed around the doorknob and he twisted it to open. The room was dark, a tiny flicker of light coming from the night bulb in the lamp. Altamash wanted to take a glimpse and leave, but his feet carried him over to her on their own accord.