Plan B

Plan B -P31-

I heaved a breath and felt Nikoli lightly let his hand lay on my shoulder, "So is there any way of helping?"
"I don't know," Kamarov shook his head. "I do know that the most we can do is avoid anything that might trigger any flashbacks. I see if there is anything else."
In a a way I felt like a helpless child, I didn't want to be known as the mental case chick. Soon I stood up and walked outside, and felt the chrisp mountain air fill my lungs. Soon I came to the edge of a cliff that over looked Azerbajain. It was maybe five stories, surely enough to kill myself with one wrong step. Perfect.
Biting my lip I thought about it for a moment, and got ready to jump off. Then just as I was about to I instead bursted into tears and hugged my legs, my crying muffled into my knees.
A rock then found itself in my grasp, I then stood up and threw it with all my effort and anger passing into it. As it flew away from the cliff I watched it crash into the feild, and I kicked the ground and cursed in practically every laungage I could speak. I hated life! Why couldn't it end?
"Scarab," Someone shouted. I turned to see Tatiana running toward me, her dark hair shimmered a chocolate color in the midday sun. She stops and told me in a calmer manner, "I know this is all so hard right now, but trust me, things will get better. I promise." I didn't know how much tears were stained on my face but I knew she was consern. Like the sister I never had. I was then pulled in a hug and she quietly whispered as she pet my head softly, "Everything will be fine, I promise you."
My sobbed turned into shakey breaths and I pulled away. I didn't care how unset I looked, this almost made me think about how my mom thought of me as the bain of her existance. She didn't protest about me joining the military, it was all, "Go, go, go get shoot. whatever." How she didn't even look at me when I left, she was just on the phone! But now here I was being hugged by a woman I didn't even know that well, she seems like better family than my mom was!
"You gonna be okay," She asked.
I could only nod out of the caustion that my voice would be all shakey and broken.
"Alright let's get back inside," Before I could say anything she was guiding me back to the house. "Do you want to just get some rest or something?"
"No," I told her noting that my tone was more even then I expected. "I'm just going to see what I could do around here."
"Are you sure," She questioned. "You want me to hang around?"
Fine," I sighed. "If you want."

Meanwhile (Soap)
"The Russians aren't going to let this masicar go unanswered. It's gonna get bloody." Ghost said examining the pictures of dead civilians on the screen in front of us.
"To late, mate," I sighed with crossed arms. "Now in teh eyes of the world, they're the victims. No one's gonna say a word when the Russians club every American they can reach."
"Makarov was one move ahead," Shepard told us from the uplink. "Now he's left thousands of bodies at the feet of an American."
"We're the only ones who know it was Makarov's op." I reminded. "Our crediblity died with Allen. We need proof."
"Follow the shell," Shepard announced as he made new pictures appear on the screen. One being a man with a red cap, the other a darker bald man. "Alejandro Rojas."
"Never heard of him," I examined the pictures.
"You know him as Alex the Red," Shepard explained. "He supplied the assualt."
"One bullet to unleash the fury of a whole nation," I blinked as I could recall hearing the name before. "Which means_."
"He's our ticket to Makarov," Shepard exclaimed in the calmest of mannors just before he sent us the coordinates to our next mission then signed off.
I turned to Ghost as he started out of the room, "Go round up the rest of the squad. I'll get some things done."
A bit later we were organized and on our way. Meat and Royce debated on whether birds were really warm blooded. In a way, I kind of saw why Meat would think they weren't, I mean this do lay eggs. But they still can regulate body temperature so Royce was right. I talked to Ghost about the plan, and sort of listened to Roach and Rocket talk to each other.
When we landed in Brazil I was greeted by our informant, Cortez. He had a dark pair of sunglasses on and a large baseball cap to cover his dark hair, "Ah Captain MacTavish, so good to see you."
I suttly made a wave like hand guesture and came up to him, "So did you get the transport hook up?"
"Done and done," He replied. "You want me to come in case if you need a translator?"
"I wouldn't mind but you won't have to translate. I've already got one Portiguese speaking person." I nearly chuckled as I looked to Meat.
"Alright then," Cortez smiled. "Then I guess I'm just taking you to Hotel Rio?"
"That sounds right," I responded.
"Okay then follow me," Cortez guestured for all of us to follow him to two cars. We spilt into two groups then got driving. The brilliant blue sky was darkened by the tinted windows, and I couldn't help but notice the smell of cigarette smoke. I could even heard Roach mutter a complain about there being the leftover butts on the floor.
Ghost seemed to keep looking around axtiously, practically turning in his seat so he could dee out the back window or his. After a few moments I asked, "Something wrong, Ghost?"
"Nothing," He stopped his figity behavor and sat stiffly. But he still seemed to glance out the windows, and with his sunglasses off it made it easier to see the whole deer in the headlights look.
"Really, Ghost, what's wrong?" I now was somewhat conserned because he never really was so jumpy, well he could be nerotic, but not like this.
"Nothing's wrong," He protested, but he still showed so much anxitiy. He soon resorted to tapping his fingers on his leg nervously.
"I'm serious, what's the matter," I questioned.
He shook his head and looked out the window again before looking back toward me. "Have I ever told you about my trip to Mexico?"
"Not really," I raised an eyebrow in curiousity. "I mean you've mentioned it. But never actually told anyone what really happened."
"The team of Americans I was working with, we were all captured. And tortured." I could just tell he didn't wanted to talk about this. "I just don't want that to end up happening again."
"It won't," I reasured. After that everthing returned to silence and we all just waited until we reached Hotel Rio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Yah so Scarab is just very conflicted right now. I think a lot of you would if you suffered from PTSD. I guess in a way Tatiana surives as an 'adopted' older sister to her. Kind of nice consitering her dad died, brother conited suicide, and her mom hates her with ever fiber of her being.

Meanwhile I got to the Task Force arriving in Brazil! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This took me forever. And you know they might just jump straight to work. Or maybe they might rest up.

(Current Me Note: The temptation to do a dramatic reading of this....)