Beyond the Rabbit Hole

Divergence

Why did I run? Why did I leave her behind? I swore to myself that I would be the one to protect her in her time of need, and yet. . . and yet! Morgyn dug his nails into his skin, pinching it until the pain was apparent on his face and blood trickled down from his fingertips. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. It's Benard's fault, isn't it? He was the one who. . . he was the one who. . . no. I could've shaken him off if I wanted. I could have run back for her, but I haven't done so even after he let me go. I am afraid.

". . . Morgyn?"

I'm just a spineless coward who can't do anything right! How can I ever be worthy of her now?

"Morgyn!" Benard took the reaper's face in both hands and held him firmly as he stared deep into his eyes.

After a moment of hesitation, Morgyn finally met his gaze.

"Good," Benard let out a light sigh. "I thought I had lost you for a moment." He stood back up and shifted his gaze over to the few survivors who were catching their breath and struggling to recover from the ambush. "The zombies didn't seem to follow us, but we aren't safe yet. We'll have to get moving again soon."

"Just leave me here," Morgyn muttered as he tucked his head into his arms.

"You know I wouldn't do that," Benard replied sharply. "What's gotten into you? I know this place is messing with you—it's probably messing with all of us—but this isn't like you."

"I ran," Morgyn's words were filled with pointed anger. Anger at himself and the world around him. "I desperately wanted to stand at her side, but I knew I couldn't. I knew I could never help her. . . and so I ran. I ran, fled like a helpless coward. And now-now she's. . ." Morgyn bit his lip.

Benard's brow furrowed deeply as he examined Morgyn's face. He took a deep breath and knelt back down in front of him. "You ran? If that's what you think, then you are more a fool than I thought." Benard spat the words out in controlled irritation. "You don't know the first thing about cowardice. When my mother was stripped of her rank, humiliated, and maimed by the creature she lived her whole life beside, I did not fight it. I did not seek answers. I didn't investigate why her wyvern went crazy like it did, when it did. I didn't even try to explain it to my little brother or comfort him in his confusion. Instead, I pursued the path laid before me as if I had no will of my own. I accepted everything as it was, and I ran from it. And when my fears got the better of me, and I failed the Royal Academy's final exam, did I attempt it again? Or did I flee with my tail between my legs and allow all the work I spent learning how to fly atop a wyvern's back result in nothing?"

Morgyn clenched his fists in silence.

"In my denial, I allowed myself to be taken into a Hellish place. The Blood Moon Inquisitors tortured and trained me alongside children half my age. . . I did not help them. I convinced myself there was nothing I could do, and I ran away. Again and again, I fled until my home was a continent away and my life was mostly gone without being lived. I've spent. . . my entire life on the run." Benard's lips trembled as he spoke. "I wasted every gift I had been blessed with, and I was content to allow myself to slowly drift away like sand in an hourglass. . . You and Lady Alyss took that hourglass and flipped it upside down. You gave me life again. You gave me purpose again. You gave me the strength to make the most of the time I have left. You gave me the chance to make amends for my many mistakes. So, what do you mean 'you ran?' Are you going to leave Alyss here?"

"No," Morgyn replied softly.

"Then what are you beating yourself up over?" Benard shook his head. "If we had stayed there with her, we would have died. She fought so we could escape, but I don't believe for a second that she's dead. She killed a ghoul on her own. She fought against a group of false wraiths without so much as a scratch on her. Do you really think that after all that, some rotten corpses are going to hurt her?"