Until We Bleed

Full Circle Part Two

The look of surprise on Axel's face almost makes Roxas want to leave. He stands his ground though, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he drops his gaze, "Um.. Can I come in..? I.. Think it would be good for us to.. Talk."

Axel's expression is guarded and for a moment, Roxas worried Axel will just shut the door in his face. But then Axel nods and steps back, allowing Roxas to come inside. Axel shuts the door behind him and they walk to the couch in silence. Roxas takes note of how far Axel sits from him on the couch. Roxas clears his throat lightly, struggling to hang on to the courage he had mustered up before. Axel sighs, "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah.." Roxas nods, rubbing his hands together nervously.

"What's this about?" Axel asks gently. To say the two of them have been less than friends since the breakup is an understatement.

Roxas takes a deep breath, steeling himself as he practices the words in his head. Axel watches him in patient silence. It's not hard to see that Roxas has a lot on his mind. After a few more awkward minutes of silence, Roxas forces himself to speak, "I.. Don't think there's a future for us. In.. Not in any capacity."

"What do you mean?" Axel frowns.

"I mean.." Roxas forces himself to make eye contact, "I mean that it's going to fucking suck, and it's going to hurt because I still miss you like crazy.. But I can't.. I can't have you in my life, Axel."

Axel's eyes widen and he's stunned into silence. Neither of them say anything for a few moments. Roxas can't meet Axel's gaze as he speaks softly, "I know that's not what you wanted to hear.."

"I'll admit, I was hoping we could still be friends," Axel says, running a hand through his hair, "We just have so much history, we've been a part of each other's lives for so long.."

"I know," Roxas nods, "And that's exactly why I can't do this anymore."

"Roxas.." The hurt in Axel's eyes is obvious.

"There's just too much history between us. Most of it is bad, you get that, don't you?" Roxas frowns, glancing back up at Axel, "How much we're bad for each other?"

"Roxas, I.." Axel wants to refute, but he knows Roxas has a point. Maybe things could have been different if they had just remained friends, or maybe they never should have met at all.

"I get it." Axel says softly after a moment of silence, "We're not good for each other anymore.. Maybe we never were."

"Maybe.." Roxas admits, "I'm sorry it has to be this way. Maybe some day, years down the line there's a small chance we could be friends again, but.. I don't think that's very likely. We need to let each other go, move on with our lives. Be.. Better people.."

"I'm sorry, Roxas." Axel says earnestly.

A ghost of a smile touches Roxas' lips as he replies softly, "So am I."

Axel sighs and stands, "So, I guess this is goodbye."

Roxas stands as well and faces Axel one last time, "Yeah, it is."

"Can I hug you?" Axel asks softly, "Just one last time."

"Okay," Roxas nods slowly. Axel envelopes him and holds him tightly. Roxas sighs and wraps his arms around his ex-boyfriend in a slightly less tight embrace of his own.

"Goodbye, Roxas." Axel whispers, his voice cracking slightly.

"Goodbye, Axel." Roxas mutters back.

They release each other, and without another word, Roxas turns and walks out the door, for the final time. This is the end, the cycle has to stop. There's no other option. Having Axel around will only be a temptation Roxas doesn't know how long he can resist. They've done this before, broken up before, and every time they end up right back where they started. It can't happen again, it can never happen again. They both deserve better than the chaotic storm they bring together.

Roxas doesn't want to be that person anymore. He doesn't want to be a victim, and he doesn't want to be someone that hurts other people. This is what's best, because he understands now that some relationships are just not meant to last. It sucks, and it hurts, but it's reality. He just hates that it took him this long to come to terms with that fact. It's a beautiful day, and Roxas feels conflicted. He's happy with the progress he made, but leaving Axel behind still hurts. He finally gets back to Xion's, only to find she's not home. He sighs and takes off his shoes. He was hoping to be able to talk to her about this sooner rather than later.

Oh well.

He sits on the couch, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Maybe it's time Roxas got his own place, maybe away from here. He's got Xion's number now, so he can keep in touch, and he's got Sora and Riku's numbers as well. Maybe it would be best to give those two some space until he's sure how Riku truly feels about him. Roxas takes his phone out of his pocket and starts looking up places for rent in a couple nearby towns. He doesn't want to go too far. After searching the internet for awhile, he finds an add for a roommate in a town not too far away.

Roxas raises an eyebrow, "Twilight Town, huh?"

Maybe it's time he made a few new friends. A fresh start could be good for him. He's lived in this town for most of his life, perhaps he's overdue for a change. Roxas answers the add, and within the hour, he's packing up what few belongings he has and heads back out, this time towards the train station. He texts Xion, apologizing for leaving before she gets back, and tells her what he's decided. He smiles, finding her response supportive. He promises to visit again soon, then puts his phone away. Maybe this is just what he needs. A clean break and a fresh start.

The End