Until We Bleed

Everything Is All Wrong

Roxas stands in the bedroom, taking off his long sleeved shirt to check himself over. He frowns, not surprised to see the bruises forming on his arms from his boyfriend's outburst. He sighs and puts the shirt back on, shaking his head. He doesn't know what to do, or what he should be expecting anymore. Axel promised things would change, Roxas promised himself that he would make sure they did, and yet he's right back where he started.

Fighting over something that didn't need such an outrageous response. He paces the room, trying to organize his thoughts before he finally gives up on trying to rationalize and just sits on the bed, covering his face with his hands. Fresh tears spill from his eyes, stressed and upset, and angry because he feels scared. Fear is a feeling Roxas despises, years of experience from his father has taught him never to let himself feel fear, let alone show it to anyone.

"Fear makes you weak and that makes you a target," it's what he always said. What he always blamed for abusing his wife. She was afraid of him, so he gave her a real reason to fear his anger. Roxas hates the anger just as much as he hates the fear, but anger is an ugly thing that clings to him like a nasty shadow. He doesn't want to become like his father, but he doesn't want to end up like his mother even more.

Roxas wipes the tears away and takes a deep breath as he drops his hands to his lap. He whispers softly to himself to just be calm and let this blow over. Axel is just upset about work and he'll get over it soon. Roxas sighs, making a promise to try again to befriend Saix, because fighting with Axel over it just isn't worth it. He and Axel love each other, and that should be all that matters. They can't keep going on this way, and they both know it.

Axel sits on the couch in the living room still, staring up at the ceiling as he goes over all the ways he screwed this up today. He had no real reason to get angry with Roxas, but the points he had made weren't entirely wrong. He sighs, closing his eyes. I need to make it up to him, get him to forgive me. He thinks over how they always made up after fights, and the answer was obvious to him. A night of sweet love, and everything would all be better in the morning.

He opens his eyes and pushes himself to stand. He crosses over to the bedroom and opens the door. Roxas looks up at him, eyes narrowing, "Leave me alone."

He looks away, not really ready to talk all this out just yet, "Go to Saix's for a while or something. I don't care.."

He really just wants time to let his own anger subside so he doesn't end up causing another fight. Axel sighs and approaches the bed and Roxas eyes him wearily, trying to read Axel's face and movements.

Axel sits on the bed, and Roxas scoots away, "Seriously, Axel, just leave me alone.."

Axel sighs softly before he moves closer, leaning over him, putting a hand down on each side of the younger boy, "Don't be like that, Roxas. I want to make this better again."

Roxas frowns, and opens his mouth to reply, but he's cut off by Axel's lips pressing to his. Roxas gasps, his eyes widening and instantly he presses his hands against Axel's chest, pushing him back. He shivers, confused and upset, "Wh-why did you do that..?"

Axel tilts his head, closing the distance between them again, "You're mad at me, and I want to fix that."

Roxas looks at him, more confused, "Kissing me is not going to make the anger go away, Axel.."

"Maybe not yet," Axel almost whispers, leaning forward again. This forces Roxas to lean back in order to avoid another kiss. Axel frowns, the one looking confused now, "Why are you being so difficult? Don't you want to make up again?"

"Of course, but.." Roxas looks away, unsure of what to say as he's not entirely certain what's happening around him.

Axel sighs and wraps an arm around his boyfriend, gripping his right shoulder. He leans back, pulling Roxas back up with him. Roxas gasps at the movement, staring up at Axel in uncertainty. Axel stares back at him, voice soft, grip tight, and eyes unreadable, "I'm so sick of fighting, Roxas, aren't you? So let's just make up already, and everything can go back to how it was."

Roxas is beyond confused. He has no idea what Axel's intentions are, nor how executing whatever he plans to do will magically make all their problems go away. He shakes his head, "I.. I don't understand.. I don't think you understand.. What you're even talking about.."

Axel's eyes narrow as he pulls Roxas a little closer, almost pulling him onto his lap, "Seriously? I'm trying to make up and you want to start a fight right now?"

Roxas shakes his head again and Axel rolls his eyes before kissing Roxas again. The younger boy closes his eyes tight as a shiver runs down his spine. Suddenly everything just feels wrong. It's suddenly too hot, his shoulders burn and his mouth itches. He doesn't know what any of it means, but he knows he has to put a stop to this. He lifts a hand to push Axel again, but the hand grasping his shoulder moves and captures his wrist, holding it up by his shoulder.

The redhead's tongue claims his mouth and he wants to throw up. He groans, keeping his eyes shut tight. His skin crawls, seeming to burn beneathe Axel's touch and he trembles, feeling Axel's mouth leave his, only to attack his neck. He groans, trying to fight back as he's lied back on the bed. Roxas feels the bed shift around him, but he still refuses to open his eyes. This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening!