Until We Bleed

Selfishness

"Why don't you just dump him?" Saix sighs, sitting at his desk with legs crossed and his head resting against his palm. He stares at Axel with a blank expression but his eyes are a different story.

Axel groans, sitting on Saix's bed, "Because, I love him, man!"

"It doesn't seem much like love, to me." Saix blinks, "It just sounds like you both constantly get on one another's nerves."

Axel frowns, looking away, "Well.. That happens, too.."

Saix sighs, sitting up a little straighter, "Axel, I know you're not one to listen to others, but I really think you need a break from him. If you love him as much as you say, taking time away from him should help clear your head."

Axel looks back at him as he continues, "It would be good for the both of you, honestly. Test how much you actually care about him."

Saix closes his eyes, "If he's worth all the arguing and literal pain, you need to know what he is to you. Is he someone you truly care about or is he just good in bed? You need to know the answer to that before you can try getting him back."

Axel sighs, standing, "Thanks for the advice, I guess. I'm gonna.. Go back home. Think."

He clicks his teeth before walking out of his best friend's apartment. The world outside is gray with dark clouds and snow covering the ground, and falling all around. Axel huffs, adjusting his coat before stuffing his hands in his pockets. He wants to go apologize to Roxas, he knows exactly where Roxas is.

It's where he always is when they have a fight: at Sora's. Axel's been trying so hard not to just storm the place like he had last time. He knows it has to be different. He can't just show up and demand Roxas come back with him. He knows Saix is right.

It would do them good to have some time apart, he knows this. But he still wants Roxas back. It's not always so bad. It can be really good to be around Roxas, too. Axel's selfish, and arrogant, he knows this. He also knows he's never cared about anyone as much as he cares about Roxas.

He thinks over what Saix said as he walks along the empty street. He knows what Roxas is to him, but what he doesn't know is what he is to Roxas. And until then, he can't let himself be selfish. At least, not if he can help it. He has to give Roxas room to breathe and figure out his own feelings uninterrupted. He sighs, finally getting back home.

He retrieves his keys from his pocket and unlocks the door. Stepping inside, the house is in much better shape inside than the day before. He closes the door behind himself and tosses the keys on the nearest table. He takes off his jacket and lies it over his favorite chair before sitting down and rubbing his eyes. A simple apology won't win him back this time.

Roxas sighs, staring out the window at the falling snow. All he wants to do is run home and apologize, but he's too proud to do that. He wants Axel to be the one to come groveling back and apologize to him this time. He wants things to be different, but somehow still stay the same.

He loves Axel, so deeply, but he doesn't want the fights to continue. He doesn't want to get hurt or hurt Axel anymore. As he stares at the snow, he remembers what Sora said that morning. Maybe breaking up is the right thing to do. Roxas doesn't want their relationship to be the thing that changes, but it might have to.

He doesn't know, and he can't stand it. He sighs again, rubbing his eyes. He jumps lightly when Riku's voice speaks from behind him, "Are you okay?"

Roxas turns, surprised by the concerned expression on Riku's face. Roxas nods, "Y-yeah. Just.. Thinking."

"Good.." Riku looked away, crossing his arms, "You know we're just trying to look out for you, right?"

Roxas sighs, "Yeah.. I know.. Is he still upset at me..?"

Riku looks back at him, "He'll be okay."

"That's not what I asked," Roxas looks back out the window, "But he'll forgive me eventually. It's what he always does."

Riku frowns lightly, "That may be true, but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of his kindness. Even he has his limits, Roxas. And you're walking on thin ice."

Roxas just stares out the window and Riku sighs, "I'm serious, Roxas. Sora's kindness will run out, and you're wearing him thin."

Roxas smiles softly, "I know.."

Riku steps up to him, grabbing his shoulder. Roxas turns to him, frowning. Riku glares, "If you know you're doing it, why keep testing his limits like this?"

Roxas chuckles softly, pushing Riku's hand back, "I guess I'm just selfish."

Riku continues to glare, "You better get over that, because I care about Sora's well-being, and you're not helping."

Roxas rolls his eyes, "Don't be so dramatic. No one's forcing him to keep believing I'm different than I actually am."

Riku groans, "Damn it, Roxas, I will not put up with this. You may be our friend, but I won't let you drag Sora down with you!"

"That's enough, Riku." Sora speaks as he comes down the stairs.

Riku turns to him, eyes softening. Roxas sighs, looking away. Sora smiles softly, walking over to them, "You're sweet, but I can fight my own battles. And choose when they need to be fought."

Riku looks away, nodding slightly. Sora gives him a quick hug before turning to Roxas, "He means well, really."

"I know." Roxas shrugs, "But I meant what I said. I'm a selfish person, and I don't always think how my actions hurt other people. I'm not.. As good a person as you want me to be."

Sora stares at him for a moment before smiling softly, "I know."