Heal my heart.

15

Alastair
I kicked another table. Angry was an understatement. I was furious. I removed a bottle from the fridge and took a large swig. This couldn't happen. She can't be dating someone else. Hell, she is mine. No one can even touch her. She belonged to me at 18, and she belongs to me at 25. Seeing her with someone else, fuck, it hurt. Like little glass pieces piercing through my heart. I took another sip. The room is a mess, but then, you should have a look at my life. My hand is bleeding from a place where I hit the wall. I sit on the floor, leaning against the bed, my head set back. Fuck, I just lost her. The only woman that mattered. She looked happy with that bastard. I would have punched his face in, but she would have got hurt then. What if he kisses those lips? Holds that hand? Does all the things that I used to do at one time? A tear streaks down the side of my face. Why did I let her go? Can I even get her back now? Whatever happened to the love we shared? Why didn't I already realize that she could have found someone else? Life goes on after all. And she can get anyone she wants, so why won't she? Gracie, I can't live without you. Please come back, please. I cry some more and collapse.

Gracie
I check my watch as I walk out of the door. Alastair is still not here. I'm worried. He doesn't love me anymore, but seeing me with Ben would have hurt his ego. I didn't do it intentionally of course, Ben just dropped by without even informing. And ruined my moment with Alastair.
"Is Mr. Kerr here?" I ask the receptionist.
"He hasn't arrived yet." She answers.
"Please shut my cabin doors. I'll be back in a while." I grab my keys and shades and set off towards the parking lot. What is he doing? I just hope he isn't destroying himself.
I park in front if his building. I got his address from the office logs. Quite a stalker I am. I go to his floor and find the door open. Wierd. His house could have been looted. But considering this posh building, that is quite unlikely. I tiptoe in slowly. The whole place is broken apart, like a storm had come in here. A table lies knocked over, clothes are strewn around and it is a wreck.
"Alastair." I call out, softly like even ny voice might echo in this pin drop silence. I go to the room inside. Same scene. A bottle rolls towards my feet startling me. I take it in my hands and smell it. Vodka. He drinks? He never did, even during those fuck all parties of our high school. I go to the edge of the bed to see him lying there, sleeping. He looks, broken? Dark circles shadow around his eyes and his clothes are a mess. My gaze falls upon his hand. It has bleeded and the blood clouds the wooden floor. The wound is now old and the blood almost looks black. I wince. I pick up his hand and run my fingers along the cut. Oh baby. It hurts to see him like this. What exactly happened? He suddenly moves. He has woken up. I wait for him to open his eyes. It takes him a while to adjust to the brightness. When he looks at me, he stiffens. His eyes are red and bloodshot, and his face is puffed out.
"Gracie, you're here?" He asks. His voice is hoarse and sore.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Everything." He says.
"Why did you do this? Why are you so devastated? What exactly happened, atleast tell me?"
"You're asking? Seriously?" He says with a are-you-joking look.
"Yes will you tell me now?" I ask irately.
"You go have a boyfriend of your own and then you ask me what's wrong?"
Boyfriend? Is he talking about Ben? Fucking shit.
"Ben is not my boyfriend." I mention firmly.
"Oh so when did you start hugging and kissing your friends? I don't remember you doing those things to anyone except for me."
"Alastair he is my best friend. And you don't have any right to talk to me like that."
I get up in anger and move away from him. He too staggers up, and for a minute, holds his head.
"All the rights are given to him now, aren't they? And when did you start fucking around with best friends?"
He's crossing all boundaries now. I might just hit him now.
"Atleast he was there for me when you left me all alone."
He turns around. He looks pained, that was a low blow, but he asked for it.
"I had to leave you. You knew what my reasons were."
"You didn't even tell me. Why? Was I not even worth a single goodbye? Do I not deserve to know?" Tears prick my eyes.
He notices and immediately rushes to me. He cups my face with his hands. "If I would have seen your face that morning, I would have never been able to go. Don't talk about what you deserve, because you're worth every good thing in this world. I had to go. The last kiss, it was my farewell to you. It would have been too hard. So I did leave, but not before looking at you to my heart's content."
Oh god, I'm dying now. "I know I behaved irrationally. You have the right to move on. Even if he is just a good friend, he is great for you. He has been by your side after all. I'm still not good enough for someone like you. I'm sorry okay? For just being an asshole like this." And then he kisses the top of my forehead. I burst into sobs. This wasn't going to happen. Oh Alastair, please don't leave me again. He turns away from me and walks towards the door.
Not again. It's now or never.
"Alastair."
He turns.
"I still love you."