Heal my heart.

29

Gracie
I sit in the apartment reading a book. The best way to distract yourself is a good book an a comfortable couch, I've grown to learn. Also what's been distracting me is last night's intercourse. My body still shivers in anticipation. Stupid okay, but you don't know the feeling, it was with the guy I love, directly after seven years. There's a ring on the door. Without taking my glasses off, I go and open the door. Alastair, looking so good. I look at me, cotton shorts, little top and glasses perched up. Someone tell why he is with me. All my corrupt thoughts however fly away when I remember where he had gone. I bite my lip and let him in. He pulls at the tie, loosening it and sits down next to me.
I stand between his legs as he places his hands on my hips. "What happened? What did he say?" I manage to ask in a calm voice despite the fact that I'm screaming from inside.
"He told me that I am free to leave Paige, but along with her, I'd have to leave the post of the CEO and my shares in the company behind too." He says.
I gulp. I really didn't know what he chose. "And what did you say?"
"I chose you. I left it all behind and I'm here." He said, wrapping his arms completely around me and resting his head on my stomach.
No. No. No. This can't happen. He can't do that. He can't leave all the things he worked so hard for throughout all his young years. He can't leave what he left me for. He can't leave all that he deserves and earned himself. That is not possible. My head goes numb. He can't let go of what he didn't even attend college for. Why is Mr. Roberts dropping all his skills for one choice he made? What about his talents? His daughter matters too much to him I guess. Maybe he wants her to marry the CEO. If not Alastair, he'll drop him, but not change his mindset. So fucking great. If someone sacrifices everything for you, know that they love you. But if you love them, you won't let them do that. And that's exactly what I'll do.
I cup his face in my hands, ignoring the tears streaming down my cheeks. If I have to break my own heart, so be it.
"Alastair go back." I say. He looks at me in surprise. "Don't cr-" I cut him off. "Please go back."
"Why?" He asks.
"Because that's what you worked so hard for. That's what you left me for. It just doesn't make sense to do it again. Go back to your company, work hard for it, succeed. I'm here praying for you." He jerks my hands away.
"I told you I'm not leaving. You can't make me leave. I've thought about it. I choose you, and you can't make me choose otherwise." He says.
I cry a bit more and sob,"You're not getting it! You have to. I'm not pushing you away. But you can't let go of what you worked so hard for."
"Don't make decisions for me Gracie, I'm done with it. I'll work and get it all back."
I yell. "You don't fucking get it! I want the best for you. Yor dreams, your ambitions, your success, they're mine too! I can't let you sacrifice everything and be selfish over here! It doesn't matter. I can't have you here moping while you were at the top of your career. I don't want to ruin you! I love you, but I'm not letting it destroy you."
He gapes at me in shock, his eyes also glazing over.
"Then what do I do?" He asks, even as he's dreading the answer.
"Forget me."
"I won't ever be able to do that."
"Tear my pictures. Burn my letters. Erase my memories. Do all that, but please don't leave your dreams for me. None of us will be happy." I say, even though my heart breaks at my words.
"I can never do all that."
"So you should leave."
"Don't push me away."
"I'm not baby, I'm not pushing you away. I love you, and this is what is best for us. Our love isn't probably meant to be. Until next time." I whisper as I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Do we have to do this?"
"You and me, deep down in our hearts, we know that this is what is needed."
"Can I spend the night with you, if not my entire life?"
"Yes. On one condition, go back to Mr. Roberts and say you'll marry his daughter." I say, even though my heart stings at the thought.
"Gracie." He groans.
"Alastair." I scold.
"Okay."
"Yes."
He tips my chin up and kisses me. The best one so far. Full of longing and raging blood in our veins. Hell, I love this guy. God knows how much. But love is about letting go. When you love someone, you have to free them. High time we stop being selfish. The only thought is how I'll never be able to forget him. The happiness he gave me in four months is so much more than the joy I experienced in the seven years between us.
He picks me up gently and carries me to bed. I allow him. It's become like a tradition, to give each other pieces of us before breaking apart. He breathes softly in my ear and proceeds to kiss me again, this time on my jaw. I shut my eyes, I want as many shards of this as I can gather in my arms. I'll need them to get me along the rest of my life.
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Okay guys, end is soon. <3