Heal my heart.

21

Gracie
My make up looks just fine. Dark circles concealed, redness of nose covered by foundation and glassy eyes hidden by sunglasses. Who knew love could be this difficult? I get out of my car and walk upto the office. The plan is to completely ignore him. My heart still aches. I quickly head to my cabin and concentrate on work. It's difficult but I'll do it. I have to.
I read all the manuscripts and articles that have been lying around in my cabin. Thoughts of Alastair and Paige together flow in my head and I'm so darn upset. Losing him and watching him leave was one thing, but seeing him with someone else is totally drowning me. I thought we were made for each other. Too bad, his destiny has taken him along some other path.
I succeed in staying shut in my cabin for the entire day when I hear a rigorous knocking on my door. I tense up. I know no other person who would knock on my door with so much of authority and informality. I don't open the door. He knocks two more times. There is a slow knock after that.
"Ma'am the office has emptied. The security guard needs to shut it." Clara says from the other side. I think he has left. I open the door gently as I pack all my stuff with me. I can see Clara nowhere. Instead of her, a very angry Alastair glares at me. I had forgotten how intimidating and scary he can be when he's angry. I swallow a lump in my throat and ask,"Where is Clara?"
"She left already. I want to talk to you."
"But I don't." I say looking down, not raising my eyes to look at him.
I go around him to leave when he comes in my way again. "You have to."
"I'm under no complsion. And please don't create a scene over here."
"No one is here to witness it anyway. The office is empty." He doesn't move his piercing gaze off me even for a second. I shuffle as he looks at me intensely, like I've made some mistake.
"Why aren't you talking to me?" He asks.
I look into his eyes for the first time. "Because you hid a very important truth from me."
"I was going to tell you."
"But you didn't."
"I didn't have the chance to. I was looking for the perfect opportunity, and before I could get it, you were gone."
"What difference does it make anyways? You're committed now. Let's just forget it."
"I don't want to let go. I love you, and I can't afford to let you go for the second time around here."
"But facts don't change. You didn't love me enough. Here I am, a fucking loser, pining for you. And you've already moved on. How many more did you date Alastair?" I say haughtily. With that I turn to leave, when he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him again.
"Don't you ever doubt how much I love you. Can't you even see that I'm still crazy about you? Do you even know my reasons? I agreed to marry her because her father practically pushed me into it. He helped me make myself, and that's what he asked for in return. Bloody hell, I refused her but she attempted to destroy everything." He shouts at me, his eyes blazing.
"Leave my wrist, you're hurting me."
"You are the one who's hurting me! I was convinced you'll never come back, that's why I settled for second best! You are the one for me, you always were!" He is fuming now, his eyes red. I can feel my emotions building up.
"What can we do then? You can't give it up like that! No matter how much we love each other, our lines of fate do not cross." I say, almost plead before him.
He pulls me into his soft embrace and kisses my hand. "I plan to make it all okay."
"How?" I attempt to pull away from him to look at his face but he still holds me close to him.
"I don't know. Maybe I'll try to convince her or something."
I scoff. "And she'll get convinced? I really don't know what to do. Can't we just run away together?"
"If it was that simple, trust me, I would have left everything to be with you."
"Mr. Roberts is also in California right now, can you talk to him? We can talk to him, infact."
"I intend to. Let's just wait for a few days?"
"And for a few days, who are you for?"
"Chuck a few days, you had my heart ever since I first talked to you."
Has he taken a training for perfect things to say in romantic moments?
"I don't want to be the second woman. I don't want to make you cheat on her, basically I don't want to be the homebreaker or the bitch here." I say.
"That's ridiculous. Because Paige is all of those things you said right now."
"Have you ever had feelings for her?"
"Nope."
"How can that be? She's so gorgeous, rich and hot, and all the other things men ask for."
"But she's not you, considering you are the standard I compare every other woman to, and trust me, no one even comes close."
"I want to marry you. No kidding."
"Lots of kidding. I want to have eight kids after marriage."
"Haw. Do I look like a baby producing machine to you?"
He laughs. "But no, only two kids. One boy and one girl. A boy with a smile like your's."
"And a girl with your eyes."
"And she'll be my little baby. We'll keep her hair long like yours."
"And the son will be my darling after you."
"And we'll live happily ever after."
"Together, right?"
And my hopes and little dreams come crashing down. We'll have to work hard for this. I'll have to get him again, if I want the life I've dreamed of. No way, I'm not letting go of him. With that, I clutch him tighter.