And Faith Took Me Away...

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I walked to my first hour class. Numb. I was numb. I felt so alone, but I was in a crowd of people. Someone came up to me, I just looked at her, not seeing her or even hearing her. I just walked, walked away.

I looked into my first hour class. Mr. Shoenbeck, math teacher. I sighed. I put my stuff in his classroom. What were we doing today? Study guides. I took a shaky breath, I. Am. Fine. I chanted in my head. I slipped out of the room and ran right in to a group of crying kids. This made me break. I started sobbing. NONONO! This couldn’t be happening… She couldn’t really be gone… Could she?

I hugged and cried and hugged some more. We weren’t comforting each other. We were telling each we were here, here for the other. This hugging and crying carried on for a while. I was hugging Nasteha (Nah- Stay- Ha) when the bell rang. I looked her in the eyes. “You gonna be alright?” she asked. I shook my head no, because I couldn’t trust my words. I drifted away from her. I saw a bus pull away. Rachel. Rachel was here. I ran to her locker. She was already there, eyes tinged red. I tackled her in a hug and started crying again. She hugged me back. I let go and we walked to math together. I didn’t bother wiping my tears, there’d be so many more, so why would I?

We stood and said the pledge of allegiance, but I just stood there, sniffing. The announcements started.

“Good Morning. Lunch today is….” I zoned out for a while. Until I heard, “Hello Students. As many of you have heard we lost a student yesterday. Miss Kayla Jackson,” Her voice cracked and she took a shaky breath, “committed suicide. There are grief counselors around the building for you to talk to.  Also, we have a place for you to go if you can’t concentrate or just need some time away. That would be Mrs. T’s lab. Thank you all.” I sighed as Ms. Bowler finished. Rachel and Anna looked at me. Do you wanna go? They asked with their eyes. I shook my head. Not yet, I said with mine. They nodded.

Mr. Shoenbeck cleared his throat. “As Ms. Bowler said, there is a place you can go if you want to.” He looked at me. GEEZ! Why is everyone so worried about me? I shook my head, again. “Work time guys!” He announced.

I walked over to the forming girls + Ashton table. I slide in to the seat and just sat there. Not talking or looking at anyone. Rachel nudged me. “You okay?” I shook my head.

“I’m fine, brown eyes.” Everyone looked up in surprise. What? Now I’m not allowed to talk? I went back to my silence, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about Kayla. I started to feel the tears run down my cheeks. Mr. Shoenbeck came to me. He whispered something to Rachel and Anna. They stood up and Rachel whispered something to me.

“Let’s go Kelsey.” I nodded and grabbed my stuff. Anna put her arm around me. I looked at her. Her eyes had tears in them too.  As we walked I sobbed. I just cried all the thoughts away.

When we got to Mrs. T’s lab I looked at all the kids in the room. So many. I walked up to Marc. “Marcie.” I whispered. He turned to me, eyes red from crying. I hugged him. Marc was a brother to me. I went around and hugged everyone. I was sitting on a table when Josh walked in. He signed in and I ran over to him and hugged him. He held me as I cried. We walked back over to the table and he had his arm around me constantly. It was comforting.

I started over to Sandra. She was crying really hard. Poor girl. I grabbed the tissue box and walked over to her, holding it out. “Take the box,” I said. She smiled slightly and took the box. I pulled her into a hug. she hugged me back and a fresh wave of sobs rolled over us both.  “I miss her.” She said. I nodded.

“Me too. Me too.” I said. She grabbed a tissue, but I didn’t bother. I walked over to Braden. He looked at me. We hugged quickly, and then he sat down. I stood in front of him.

“Why Kelsey? Why did she do it?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know, Braden, I just don’t know.” And you know what? I really don’t.

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“Kayla was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met and I just loved her to death.” ~Malorie H.

The song is “We are Broken” by Paramore. This song is perfect for this chapter because it is all about her best friend committing suicide and how she felt about it. Thanks for reading.