Never Too Late

Chapter 5.0: A Connection

                It was about a few weeks after Thanksgiving when Ken had this event at the school paper organization, and I volunteered to help with the banner for the event. It was yet another buys month for Ken, so it was hardly surprising that we were losing contact and time for each other, not that I minded. It was the tenth of December, but it rarely snows in Berkeley, so at least we could avoid the whole snow traffic incidents, but we wouldn't get snow days either. Anyway, I was sitting on the floor at the loft living room working on the banner with my art materials and all. Ken still had finals, so I was helping him out. It was pitch dark, and I hadn't noticed that Alex was in the loft with me because I was too busy working on the banner. Laura and Harvey had their shifts, so... It was also a relief that her parents were helping out with the pregnancy bills so we wouldn't have to come to Alex for everything.

"Hey..." Alex came out of his room all dressed up on his date clothes: black shirt, coat, slacks, and shoes. It was definitely an arousing time for me, but as I had repeatedly told myself, I shouldn't be attracted to him anymore because he has a girlfriend. Anyway, he stopped in the living room to check up on me. "What's that?"

"Alex! I didn't know you were here." I stopped working. "Wow, what are you wearing?"

"Oh, I have a date with Janine." he said as I stood up and walked to him. "Do I look fine?"

"Are you kidding me? You look hot in this." I stretched off the few wrinkles on his shirt. "I'd definitely have sex with you on this."

"I'm not really sure we'd have sex tonight."

"What?" I laughed. "Is this thing with you two serious?"

"I don't know, but she's really cool." He smiled. I was maybe 30% jealous, but I was somehow happy for them. "You know, she's a really jolly and understanding person."

"That doesn't matter." I walked back and sat on the floor again to work. "The important thing is she likes you, and you like her."

"So, how are the things with Ken?" he brought up.

"Great..." I continued working on the banner. "Same old, same old..."

"Really? I haven't seen him come here for months. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I went to see him yesterday, and I asked if I could help with the workload, so I'm doing this banner. I'm done with my finals and papers, so I'm basically on my break now with a few classes." I replied.

"Are you cool that you barely see him, and when you do, you just see him for a short moment and just help with his work like the survey thing?"

"Look, Alex." I stopped working. "I've changed even just a little since we broke up. I know I was selfish before, and I've at least learned to try to understand my significant other's position. Ken's a busy person, and that's fine with me. Instead of judging him, I'm helping him out instead."

"Wow..." he said. "Good for you. I'm really glad you're doing fine. I see you're happy, and it's a really nice sight after all these pregnancy drama and sulking."

"Thanks." I smiled. "Have fun on your date... and don't forget to use condoms!"

"Will do." He opened the door and started to squeeze out. "See 'ya."

"Okay! Drive safe!" I yelled as he closed the door.

After Alex left, I found myself pondering about what he said. Did I really become more understanding, or did I just not care about my relationship with Ken? It didn't know what's what at that point. A week and a day later, after my classes ended, Alex and I decided to get some Starbucks again, same place, same time, same seats, and same drinks as before. It was the last day for the finals, so we finally had the time to chill. Unfortunately, I still hadn't heard from Ken despite all the workload being lifted.

"So, how's your accounting finals? That's your final exam this semester, right?" I started as we relaxed.

"I think I did fine. It was a difficult test, but I studied pretty hard last night, so I think I did fine." He sipped from his drink.

"Yeah, I heard you burning your head with all the hard work." I laughed. "It's good that it's finally done. I finished all the papers and test I needed to finish, so I'm good to go too."

"So, Ken must be relieved from the stress too. Finals week had just ended, and the classes are officially over." Alex pointed out. "He must be excited to see you."

"I hope so..." I laughed despite the fact that his finals ended a day ago, and he still hasn't left any messages or calls. "It's pretty normal for us to not be too clingy, you know. We sort of agreed on that."

"That's cool. That way you wouldn't get sick of each other." He nodded. "Actually, Janine has been calling me non-stop. I've been making excuses to not show up."

"Hey, why are you blowing her off? I thought you liked her."

"Well, yeah. But I don't have to spend my every break with her, right?" he laughed.

"I guess..." I chuckled. "That's probably the thing with me and Ken. I don't really mind if he's not that crazy about me. I'm not that amazing."

"Are you kidding me?" he laughed again. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met! You're helping your best friend with her pregnancy! You're not judging your boyfriend when he doesn't have the time for you! You're awfully kind to the people around you especially those you love. I, for one, think Ken's missing out by doing something else than spending time with you."

"Thanks Alex..." I gave him the puppy eyes look. "That's a really nice thing to say."

"You're welcome." He replied. "So you're going back to Neptune this winter break?"

"Yeah, probably Christmas and all." I said. "How about you? You going back to Seattle this holiday?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." He laughed. "I'll probably go back to Neptune too. I still haven't sold the house there, so I could bunk in. Plus, we still have to visit Sharon. It's second year in heaven."

"Of course, I will." I smiled. "Hey, maybe you could spend Christmas with us! You're not just gonna sit around at your house and eat some corndogs in the cold, are you?"

"That sounds nice!" he exclaimed with excitement. "I hope your dad doesn't axe my penis off if he finds out that we broke up."

"He's not gonna find out." I chuckled. "Maybe we could wait it out until he doesn't care about it anymore, and we could just tell him that we moved on."

"I guess... Sooner or later, he will have to, you know."

"What if he doesn't have to?" I asked, and it definitely implied me asking if we were getting back together, which exactly what I was thinking but not suggesting.

"What do you mean? Are you saying we should get back together and pretend like nothing happened?" he asked with all curiosity on the line, and I was caught in that moment. I wanted to say yes so bad, but we both had our significant others, so it wasn't a good idea.

"No, it was nothing." I laughed. "Just word play, that's all..."

After that chill hang, Alex and I went to his car. He drove me to school every Tuesdays and Thursdays because we had the same class times, and we thought it'd save some gas and the pollution. We went to his car in that exact same parking spot where Janine knocked on my window the first day they met, and we drove.

I didn't say anything the whole ride. I just had myself looking past my window with my arms crossed. I could feel Alex turning to me several times. It was probably because the silence meant something to him, but the truth is I just didn't want to talk. It was true that I was thinking of getting back with Alex since it'd save my parents the trouble, and my relationship with Ken didn't really matter. Somehow, I was enjoying those silent moments I had with Alex. Him just turning over to look at me just brought some old feelings back on the plate. It felt like we were connected not just with words but also through those small heartbeats I was feeling around us. It was alive, and it was all over us.