Falling Together (Patrick/Pete)

24 - The road to death

Patrick's POV

I charged for the road. I didn't really fucking care what happened next. Pete swings his arms around my stomach and pulls me back. He pushes me back into the wall as the truck that was oncoming speeds past. 
"Patrick... please..." Pete tells me, he look really sad. I was slightly winded from the sudden jerking movement backwards. 
"Patrick... If you're suicidal please, let me help you" I just said nothing. I was but I didn't want him to help. I was coping. That involved getting drunk and overdosing on my medication. I just wanted to be fucking happy, was that such a bad thing? 
"Patrick, please, talk to me" Pete pulls me into a hug. I needed to smoke. 
"Hey" I say.
"You know what I mean" He says, letting me go and looking at me. He pecks me on the lips and I look at him. I get a cigarette out of my pocket and light it. Pete leans on the wall next to me.
"Why did you start again?" He asks.
"Stress" I tell him. It was a crap excuse but it was the reason.
"I think we need to take you back to the doctors Patrick. You're really not doing well"
"I'm fucking fine" I growl.
"You're really fucking not babe" he says. He was right. But I didn't want to admit it. I look at the ground in front of me, kicking the sidewalk with the toe of my shoe. I had let everything slide. I started crying and Pete hugged me, slowly taking the cigarette out of my mouth and dropping it at our feet. 
"It's okay" He whispered to me while he hugged me. Everything was going wrong. This album was supposed to be great but it was just making everyone drift apart, and it was all my fucking fault. It always was. It was out of my own irresponsibility that the band had broken up in the first place. And now we were drifting apart again. I was too stressed and focused on trying to make it perfect and wasn't thinking about anyone else. I drank so I didn't have to think about my own feelings but it caused me to block out everyone else's too. I was ruining everything for everyone yet again. 

I don't know how long we stood outside of the studio but it was getting colder as the night progressed. The stars we pretty clear in the sky and the buzz of city life could be heard for a distance.
"Do you wanna go for a drive?" Pete suggests. I wasn't gonna say no. There was a great hill near the studio but there was no way I was gonna be able to walk that far. He took us up to the hill in his slightly run down car and we lie on the roof of the car. The night was getting colder but I snuggled into Pete for warmth. He was so cuddly, and he had a big sweater on so y'know. The air was kinda fresh up here and it was taking my cravings away that were slowly creeping up on me again.
"Won't the others wonder where we are?" I ask Pete, looking up at him.
"I texted Andy to say we were going for a drive. They're gonna go home and sleep since we're not doing any more recording tonight" He tells me.
"But we need to get the album done and if people aren't there or keep going home early then - "
"Patrick, stop stressing. There is no deadline for this album, we can just record it at our own pace. Just slow down, there's no need to rush" Pete tells me, stroking my hair.