Falling Together (Patrick/Pete)

31 - Death calls

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

Two weeks later

Patrick's POV

It was dark. The heavy rain was soaking through the hood of my jumper. I looked at the time on my phone, shading the screen with my arm. 10:48 pm. I told the others I was only going to the shop. We had finished the tour a week ago. We were all crashing at Andy's house for a week just to celebrate. My... my head was fucked up. I'd had a terrible last couple of days. Pete was trying to ground me but it just wasn't working. There wasn't many people out at this time of night. A few drunk people and people coming out of restaurants. Nobody took notice of the chubby guy in the grey hoodie. I had my hood pulled over my head so nobody would recognize me. I'd put on weight at the tale end of the tour and was now nearly fifteen stone. My stomach looked massive cause this was Pete's hoodie and it was kinda tight. It wouldn't matter soon anyway. I had the stuff I needed in my backpack. I was going to the bridge. I didn't really know where I was going but I saw a bridge on the way into the city and knew it was right. I was always afraid of swimming but it somehow didn't matter anymore. I got a a four pack of larger from the shop and was drinking one as I was trying to find my way around. Some boys had laughed at me and told me to get bigger clothes but with my headphones in, I couldn't really hear them.

I sat on the railing of the bridge drinking. I took my anxiety pills out of my bag, tipping them all into my hand. The wind was whistling through the metal railing and few cars drove past. I pull the pills in my mouth and swallowed them down with the larger. I estimated I had about twenty minutes. I had missed calls from Pete. It had taken my over an hour to get here on foot and it would take about twenty five minutes to get here in the car. Whatever, he wouldn't be able to get here in time. It was time to text him the note I had prepared the other night. I look at his contact name. Pete with a heart after it. 

Pete, I'm so fucking sorry. I can't take it anymore. I'm by the bridge at the entrance of the town. You won't be able to get here in time. I have about twenty minutes. I want to say I'm sorry. Sorry for making you worry so much and making every single fucking thing about me. My weight was so fucking jumpy and I'm sorry that I didn't give you the help you needed in our teenage years. I know you had insomnia but I didn't have the guts to give you help. I love you. I always have done. Please, for your sake and mine, please get help if you need it. I fucking love you.

Patrick xx

I press send and it says delivered. I was so fucking scared now. Pete called me less than a minute of my sending it. 
"Patrick, what have you done?" He says quickly and sounding on the verge of tears. I hear him opening his car.
"Pete, its no use" I sob down the phone. "You can't get here in time"
"I'm going to fucking try" He tells me. "Don't fucking move, please, Patrick. Just keep talking to me. Tell me you're okay"
"I'm going dizzy Pete. I'm going to fall" I shout, biting my lip and looking into the deep water below me. Fuck. I was terrified. I'd wanted to die for so long but now I was dying, I wanted to live.