James: The Miracle Within My Mistake

|Chapter 1|

"Maybe if I wasn't as scared as hell I would've told you. Right there when those two pink lines appeared. Right when I saw our baby on the screen for the first time. Right then when I knew I missed you the most."

Shailene's POV
It's been over a year since I've spoken to him, and the same amount of time since I last saw him. He's been traveling a lot, getting tons of movies deals, he's the face of a new cologne and I have to say I'm happy for him. Everything's coming together for him, and it makes me proud.

We haven't seen nor spoken to each other since the Ascendant wrap party. I say that in the way that it sounds like neither of us have tried to speak to one another, and saying it like that isn't really fair.

Theo's made the effort. He calls. He texts. He emails. He even writes letters to me, and then there's me who never responds.

I know it's rude and unfair to him to just chop him out of my life. Stopping any course of interaction with each other, even if I don't have to see his face. But I just can't seem to bring myself to contact him, and I don't know if it's the pain holding me back or the growing guilt.

"Morning buddy." I say walking into my son's navy painted room. I turn the lamp on his dresser on, allowing some light in the room but not too much. I pick him up from his white wooden crib and hold him close in my arms.

I carry him over to the rocking chair I put in here and sit down, getting ready to nurse him. He's wearing his little brown and white footie pajama's and little brown socks.

My baby boy is four months now, give or take a few days. And he's a precious baby. Calm, doesn't cry much, and seems to be happy most always. But he'll definitely tell you when he's not happy.

I look down at him, pulling my shirt back up since he's finished. He looks up at me with his dark brown eyes, making it seem like he's studying me.. and maybe he is.

He's an exact replica of Theo... and maybe that's why I named him James.

James Michael Woodley Taptiklis. Born May 12th, at 11:44pm. My mother was the one that drove me and was there in the delivery room with me. I wanted Theo there, god did I want him there.

But I couldn't tell him, or call him then. He hadn't known that I was pregnant especially with his child, And to call him while I was in labor, I knew he'd be upset that I kept this from him. So it'd be the wrong time to tell him.

It was overall an easy birth, but it was insanely painful. I was just thankful that I didn't have to have a C-section. My mother helped me the most throughout the whole pregnancy and she was one of the few that knew.

Miles and his girlfriend Keleigh knew, I told Miles because I needed to tell someone, and he is one of my closest friends. Keleigh helped me too, keeping me company and running out to get me things so I wouldn't end up in a magazine or something. My only request was that they didn't tell Theo.

Theo at the time was still with his longtime girlfriend Ruth, and they were happy. I doubt that Theo told Ruth about the night at the party, either because he was too drunk to even remember that it ever happened. Or just so it didn't destroy his relationship.

I move James to the changing table, unbuttoning his clothes and discarding his soiled diaper. Putting a new one on and choosing his outfit for the day. A red and white striped shirt, with denim overalls. I slip some socks on him and don't worry about shoes- which he wouldn't need unless we went out.

I pick him back up, taking him downstairs so I can get my own breakfast. I play with the curls he has on his head. For a little baby, he has quite a bit of hair- Theo's hair. Most of James reminds me of Theo, reminds anyone who knows of Theo.