James: The Miracle Within My Mistake

|Chapter 6|

I never thought that I'd hear those words come from your mouth, at least on your own and not produced because of too many shots. When you told me you loved me, I couldn't help but cry. Because all I wanted, all I've ever wanted from you was to know that I wasn't alone in these feelings. That you held them too, that you loved me too.

Shailene's POV

All my common sense went through the window that day I slept with Theo, all the wrongs turned right and all the pain turned into pleasure in that one moment in time. But as bad of a decision it was, and how much of a mistake I knew it was... now I can't see it like that.

I see it as the night I got gifted with the baby boy I'd have nine months later. The night I got what I needed from Theo, not sex but the feeling of being loved- by him. Even if it was just because we were drunk.

"What are you thinking about?" Theo asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. We're back at the house now, sitting in the living room watching James play with blocks on the floor.

Theo had happily agreed to move in, not only for me but to be with his son everyday. Which made me so overly grateful. 

"Life." I answer, my voice feeling small in all the silence. James keeps playing with the alphabet blocks in front of him, Theo playing too.

"What about life?" Theo asks, one leg up and his arm resting on it. Handing James a 'G' block.

"Us. And James I guess." I say, picking at my nails, almost trying to chip off nail polish that isn't even there.

"Are they happy thoughts? Sad, angry??" Theo questions, smiling briefly when James knocks the tower of letters down, giggling.

"Their good and happy thoughts." I say, looking up from my lap and to my two boys playing on the living room rug.

"Do you have any regrets? About me and about James? About anything?" I ask, staring right at Theo, as he looks back.

"No." Is his simple answer. I don't know how easy it was for him to answer, because if he were to ask me... I think I'd take longer to answer.

"Why do you ask?" Theo asks me, helping James with the mess of toys he made.

"I don't know."

"Shai."

"I just, didn't know if you missed Ruth. And the life you had before I did this, we did this." I say, holding any tears back. It can't be easy leaving a easier life, and stepping into one where you're suddenly a father.

"Shai." Theo says, and gets up to sit next to me on the couch. I pull my knees closer to my chest and rest my head on the pillow.

"Shai, I have no regrets. And I don't miss any of my old life because that's my past. This is my now, and my future. Shai, I love you. And James. This is where I'm supposed to be, and you are who I'm supposed to be with." Theo says, not taking his eyes off me. Not even for a second.

"You mean that?" I ask, letting a tear seep out of my eye, and roll down my cheek.

"Yes, I mean it." Theo says, grasping my right hand in his.

"I love you." I whisper, a smile creeping up onto my face.

"I love you too." Theo says, smiling back. But we get interrupted when James begins to giggle, banging his blocks together.

"What are you doing there, you silly boy?" Theo asks, getting and swooping up his son. Holding him in his arms, kissing his little chubby cheeks.

"He really loves you." I comment, staring lovingly at my boys.