Winter || Bakugo

Chapter 48

"Izumi." A familiar voice spoke up from the doorway to the hospital room I was staying in. I didn't need to turn my head in order to know who it was.

I sighed, not looking away from the little kids playing outside the window. People passed by outside, smiling at each other. Everyone was happy, yet I couldn't bring myself to smile.

I clenched my hands into fists. It was hard to forget the blood that I had felt on my hands. From myself and the people around me. I furrowed my eyebrows. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't realized the dip in the bed as my father sat down.

"Are you still mad at me? Can't you just look at me?" He placed his hand over mine. I frowned at the roughness. When had his hands roughed up so badly? When had my hands grown almost as large as his?

"During the battle... I lost my ability to hear." I spoke up, my voice hoarse from not speaking for so long. "I had never felt so free, but then I realized that I wouldn't be able to hear your heartbeat. And that scared the shit out of me."

Not being able to hear him scared me, but what scared me the most was the fact that even for a few moments... without the burden of my quirk, I was the happiest I had been in months. That was more horrifying than anything. I was already becoming selfish enough.

"When I saw you after the fight, all I wanted to do was to run into your arms. I just wanted to cry and hug you but my pride stopped me. I didn't want to apologize first because of how much you had hurt me, but... can you just be my dad again?" I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face as I stared at our hands. I couldn't even look at him.

"Izumi, I will never not be your father. Even if you someday despise me and resent me for the rest of your life, you will always be my little girl. No matter how much you grow. I'm sorry that I treated you as if you aren't my first priority. You are the only person that I think about when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I'm so sorry that I brought Rei to our family movie night, but I need you to know that Rei isn't going to replace your mother. Nobody could replace her, okay? Niri is someone that nobody could ever dream of forgetting." He apologized, patting my head. The action cause me to cry harder.

A realization dawned on me as he spoke, making me want to cry even more. When my mother had me, she was just a kid. They were both just kids— stupid kids. I gave him such a hard time when he was trying to do his best, especially since I'm the age my mother was when she died. I was so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't even see how much my father was hurting. He lost the first girl he had ever loved and I was shunning him for feeling something for someone again.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Was all I could make out through my wailing. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he embraced me. He rubbed my back as I sobbed in his arms. His heartbeat was loud in my ears as it pounded against his chest but I paid no mind to it. My thoughts were clouded with all of the things I had to apologize for— things he probably wouldn't even care about.

"You can have the box or any of her things. And... I'll answer any of your questions. Just ask and I promise I'll answer. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't ask. I promise it's not your fault." He replied, squeezing me slightly. I didn't want to accept his forgiveness, I didn't deserve it, but I didn't anyway. I missed him so much. I'm afraid that if he tried to pull away, I wouldn't let go.

———

"Tamaki." I spoke up, knocking on the already opened door. His tired eyes drifted over at me and gave me a weak smile.

"Bored already?" He asked, trying to sit up as I approached his bed. I shook my head, helping him sit up.

"No, just... checking up on you." I replied, staring at his hands that rested on the bed. His hands looked rough too. I must've made him feel self conscious because he immediately hid his hands under the blankets.