17 // It's her.

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▪▪▪▪Suga POV▪▪▪▪

After I told Namjoon to leave me alone I walked around not even knowing where to. I got a little lost and when I saw an old playground I decided to sit down there because it was empty and silent. I really needed to clear my head.
Namjoon thinks I'm having aggression problems but he doesn't know the story, our story. If they never met maybe I finally could've had the chance that I waited for so long.
I know he didn't do it on purpose, how could he know.
I remember the times with her and I also remember that one night with her, that night when she told me her biggest secret. We sat under a big tree and she just said 'I need to tell you something, Yoongi'.
I'm the only one who knows it.. But now.. Now she doesn't even remember me. How could she not regonize me!? Maybe she remembers me but played like she forgot about me. The problem is that I know her secret and I can't tell Namjoon. I promised not to tell anyone, even if we hate eacother. But how could she fall in love with Namjoon when I am the one who knows everything about her.
Aish! I could slap myself for not saying that we actually know eachother, for not saying that it is me.
At first I didn't know who Namjoon was talking about but I got annoyed anyway, because he was so happy and I wasn't. But when she came to the fansign event it hit me, he was talking about the Yejin that I knew too. And it was like a punch in the face.
So when I saw the message on his phone I deleted it without even thinking about the consequences. I was thinking that if I can't have her then he shouldn't have her too. I know it's wrong but I didn't know what to do, I couldn't just tell him that I know her. I don't want to ruin his love life but I just don't want him to be with her either. This is really a problem and it's unfair. Why is is fate like that? Maybe where not for eachother if she doesn't even remember me..
Then when I heard about them kissing I totally snapped out. Because I knew, I lost.

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