Dancaholic

8. Songwriting

I have now known Tessa for a few days and it's safe to say that, yes, I indeed to have a new best friend.

"Okay, so you're telling me you wrote a song to your sister?" Tessa asks.

Yes, that is why I told Tessa about Dawn. But only Dawn. I haven't mentioned - let alone thought of talking about - my father. That wasn't very necessary considering he's not around anymore - which I am very greatful for. I hope I never have to see him again.

"Yes. Yes, I did."

"Well...?"

"Well what?" I ask, confused.

"Well aren't you going to show me it?"

"Ha, what? That's random."

"No, not really. Considering you mentioned it."

"Uh.. Let me think about that... No."

Okay just to full you in a bit, I wrote a song to Dawn a few days after she passed away. I was only eleven years old when I wrote it so it wasn't exactly... What you call... Good. It's a bit on the weird side so I guess that's why I never showed it to anyone. I had thought of singing it at her funeral but when I looked over it after I'd finished it, I didn't think it was worthy of that. She deserved a song a lot better then that. That's why I sang Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne. It's a perfect song. Here's why:

Na na, na na na, na na

I miss you, miss you so bad

I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

I miss her. I still miss her. I will never ever forget her and I sang it, hoping that she could hear me because I want her to know that I care even though I may not have been the best sister to her.

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

Oh

At the crash when she died in my arms, I realised that my life would never be the same. My life was changed forever. I will never get my twin sister - my best friend - back and I will have to live my life without her. I will have to live and grow old even though she can't. And that's what scared me the most.

I didn't get around to kiss you

Goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

I always dreamed and wished that I could see her again even though I've always known that I can't. I still gripped on to that hope - the hope that any minute, any day, any moment, Dawn will walk through the door with that great big smile on her face that she always had. Unfortunately, that will never happen again.

I had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why

And I can't take it

It wasn't fake

It happened, you passed by

I didn't believe that Dawn had died. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I didn't want to. For months after - and I still do occasionally - I kept wondering why she was taken from us, why she wouldn't be able to live the life she wanted to live. Why she wouldn't wake up. The answer is that she wasn't sleeping. I wasn't dreaming. It happened. It really happened. She had passed. She was gone... Forever. I didn't want to believe it.