For those in need

Chapter 22 - Confusion (N)

"I, Chase Alvarez, accept you, Nina Mikhailova, as my mate, my partner, my best friend, my future wife, my..."
"Hahahaha, what's all this fuss about? And your future wife? You're so confident Chase."

"It's just a formality... besides I know we belong to each other Nina. One day you'll agree to more than lunch with me and I'll patiently wait for that day to come."
"Ok then... I, Nina Mikhailova, accept you, Chase Alvarez as my mate, my idiot, my... I don't know."
"You don't have to know my love. This is enough. You are enough and more than that."

I woke up. This dream brought back the exact situation when we first met at the beach. Was it because they were asking about him? I don't know but I haven't been dreaming about him ever since Michael was born. Partially because since he was born I wasn't sleeping much.

I looked at his face in the frame - photo of the two of us on the drawer. And then it dawned on me...He rejected me. He did to me the very thing he said he never wanted to experience. And from this dream I see he was talking about us being mates. Could he be werewolf as well?

Thinking about it now he always spanned all kinds of nonsense like this. He even talked about a pack! My goodness... I feel like panic is slightly washing over me. I get up from the bed because I need water. I walk down the stairs and get myself water. I sit on a couch and still think about it.

Suddenly I hear the door open. "We shouldn't tell her Alpha." I hear Warren saying.
"Shush! She's up!" Alastair quickly stopped any conversation and gets to me.
"Nina, why aren't you sleeping?" He asked carefully.
"I had a dream about Chase... about our first meeting... he was talking about us being mates and even about pack... and I think he is..." I stopped to massage my temple and sighed deeply. Even Warren and Garret came closer and sit down around me.

"I think he was a werewolf as well." I finally managed to let out the words that felt like stones.
"You're right Nina. He is a werewolf." Alastair told me while looking closely at me.
"He was..." I corrected him but he shook his head.
"He is and he is alive." He added and I felt like my heart just stopped. I looked at him to see if he is joking or if he is serious... I'm not able to think straight I absolutely don't understand what's happening here.
"We just talked to him. He is a werewolf who is rising to power in werecouncil. He probably doesn't know we know you... but I could definitely recognize him because of that picture of you two in your room." Alastair said and was still closely watching me.

"Wait... what... I don't understand." I managed to murmur and look in confusion on all three men. They looked back at me with sympathy.
"I... I think I'm going to bed..." I said and left them. As I was walking up the stairs I turned and walked back to them.
"Are you seriously telling me the truth!?" I asked looking at them and looking away searching for a fly on the wall that would tell me I'm just dreaming because talking fly means this is all just my imagination in the dream.

"We are serious Nina." Said Garret and I'm still searching the walls.
"I can't believe it... it's just not possible... but I mean last couple of days wasn't normal either so why wouldn't my dead husband come alive right..." I laughed a bit and saw how the men shifted nervously. "So he doesn't know you know me." I suddenly remembered.
"Probably. He didn't ask about you or Michael so we assumed he doesn't know. " Alastair answered and added. "We think he faked his dead to become a head of werecouncil."
"But why? What's so special about werecouncil?" I asked. I couldn't imagine anything that would make me leave my husband and a child... let alone make it look like I died.

"Being the head of the council is giving you enormous power over the whole were world - everyone needs to listen to you and you can sometimes even start a war with another species or powerful fraction." Explained Garret.
"Power... listening to... everything in your world is about power and those who follows someone's orders without going against it. Alpha... Luna... council..." I said like in a trans. "I don't believe Chase would do it for the power."

"Maybe not. Don't stress over it Nina." Said Alastair and tried to hug me. I dodged him. My husband is alive and this guy is trying to hug me... Warren and Garret suddenly jumped up and left without even saying good night.
"Nina. You accepted me. Your husband rejected you and faked his death. I'm standing right here next to you. So why cannot I touch you?!" Alastair said barely holding anger and frustration so he won't wake up the whole house.

Well I'm sure whoever is up can hear him since werewolves have better senses but it's nice he's being considerate regarding Michael at least. But his question makes sense. My husband left me. If it's true he is a werewolf he rejected me as his mate also. And here is Alastair, someone who wants me and I don't want him. Then why did I accept him? My head is spinning from all thoughts.
"I'm talking to you." He nudged me a bit but he's still holding it together.

"I don't know ok?" I said the truth. "When you asked me to accept you, you said you wanted to protect me and take care of me. And I wanted that as well." I looked at him still trying to figure out the rest.
"So you didn't like me? Not even a little bit?" He asked and I saw an anger and hurt simmering beneath.
"As I said to you before, I wasn't thinking about relationship. I identified as a widow and a mother, there was no place for anything else." I said and started to be a bit upset myself. Why can't I like him? Not even a little... why?!

He covered me with a black shawl. I smell Armani Code from it...I haven't seen that perfume anywhere for a long time and I'm saving mine for special occasions which were only when I go to The Raveen.... did I forget the shawl there and he picked it up that time? The owner didn't mentioned him coming back...
"I do care about you. I care about everything that happens to you. But I want the same from you!" He said.

"Do you really care? Or is it because of this Moon Goddess thing? Would you choose me if it wasn't for her?" The question came out like a fire from my mouth. It was actually bothering me for a while. Why was he so obsessed with me when he didn't even knew me. Just because something kept pulling him to me he decided he loves me and cares about me.
"That's how it is Nina. I am following the pull." He answered and is visibly confused why am I asking that. It is absolutely unquestionable for him but for me this is not so easy.

"I don't feel the pull, I don't feel anything. I don't understand how can you suddenly claim you love me while I don't feel the same. Until now you didn't care so why now?" And it is still not clear to me what I mean.
"Because your husband is back!" He said. "And I either have to kill him or cooperate with him." He said deadly.
"If you'd rather choose him, I'll kill him! If I'd be sure you're mine and you stay mine, I'll gladly cooperate with him." He clarified and I feel shock travel through my body.