Chanyeol's Epic Fail (not mine)

Ice Skating

What Byun Baekhyun decides to do as our first date is completely unexpected, and really just sufficiently awkward.

Ice skating.

But it’s not just us; it’s a double date, with some Canadian guy called Kris and some equally awkward Chinese exchange student whose name escapes me.

Tao?

Huang?

Whatever it was, I can’t pronounce it.

Chanyeol, you can’t pronounce Korean words properly and that’s your first language.

Thanks for your insight, brain.

Whatever.

So Kris is like some tall guy that constantly bleaches his obviously naturally dark hair (because he’s Asian) blonde, and he’s amazing at ice skating which is kind of expected because he’s Canadian and it snows there.

At least that’s what I’ve learnt at school.

Wait, you learnt something at school?

Do you have an off switch or something? I didn’t pay for this.

Yes, it snows in Korea too. But I never leave our apartment. Actually, I never really leave the confines of my bedroom because there is always so much amazing sexual goodness in the Byun Baekhyun tag on Tumblr.

It is painfully obvious that I can’t ice skate properly.

Chinese guy doesn’t know how to either, but after one time around the ring of the rink he’s holding hands with Kris and gliding.

Gliding.

He’s like a bird in flight, one leg extended out in front of the other, gliding on the ice like he owns the place. I, on the other hand, am still clinging to the edge for dear life.

“Chanyeol, are you OK?” Baekhyun asks as he swirls.

I mumble an apology for being slightly more incompetent than usual.

After my fifth time around the edge, Baekhyun is back.

Well technically he’s been trailing behind me, watching as my legs splay across the ice as I stack it an bruise my ass for the twentieth time.

“Come on Chanyeol, take my hand.”

“Uh…?”

Apparently it is hard for my brain to process words whilst simultaneously flapping my arms about to stop from falling over (again). I grab the edge and cling to it.

“NO!”

I realise I must sound like a three year old that’s been asked to take a bath after swimming around in a puddle of mud like a deranged dolphin.

Pretty much, yeah. You actually sound like that.

Shut up, brain. You know me plus uneven surface equals disaster.

I cling so hard to the wall I’m sure if the wall was a living thing I’d be cutting off its circulation.

I don’t want to ice skate.

I don’t want to ice skate.

Hell, I can’t even walk properly let alone stumble around on pointed blades!

But Byun Baekhyun has other ideas.

He takes a hand and leads me out into the fast part of the ice, where all the pro ice skaters have congregated in a mass of twirling limbs and danger.