Chanyeol's Epic Fail (not mine)

Car Ride

Awkward car ride. Awkward Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun, we are in our underwear. You don’t mind being caught looking like this?” I ask quietly, trying my best to cover Spongebob Squarepants’ face with my insanely large hands.

“The windows are tinted, no one will see us.”

I don’t want a repeat of the situation that arose from my near nakedness with Mrs. Kim from the first floor.

She was just casually off to grab some milk from down the road with her son, and we had bounded down the stairwell clad in well… nothing.

Mrs. Kim had screamed.

The son had said ‘Hi Chanyeol, who’s your boyfriend?’

Mrs. Kim had then dragged the little boy back into their apartment with a quick slam of the door.

Byun Baekhyun is behind the steering wheel, watching the road with a look of severe concentration spread across his face.

I glance down.

Don’t look there, Park Chanyeol.

Byun Baekhyun is practically naked.

I am practically naked, in his car.

I really don’t get it. I haven’t been in a relationship for what feels like an eternity.

Have you even been in a relationship in the first place?

Uh…

No.

Thought so.

“Shut up, brain!”

Byun Baekhyun looks at me.

“You OK?”

“Uh, yeah.” I let my eyes wonder again.

“We can do it in the car.”

What?

WHAT?

ASDFGHJKL!

AJDHJDHEFHERIOFNJRNFJKRJ

KVBRHJBVJRHFGHAERJFINVJRBGULHERI

HVBVFNDBVHREJKGBUREBVHRDB

VREJKBGVUBH!

“Uh.”

“It’s OK if you don’t want to, I’ll just show you my apartment instead.”

Byun Baekhyun raises an eyebrow suggestively.

Oh Lord.

Where are we going to do it?

Not the kitchen.

No.

Desk?

No.

Bed?

Too conventional.

Oh God, I hope he doesn’t have some weird fetish, like I don’t know what.

What if he likes BDSM? Bondage? Imagine the foreplay.

Thanks brain, but trying not to.

What does Byun Baekhyun like in bed?

It shouldn’t concern you. You’re not even going to last one minute before he chucks you out.

Excuse me?

Well, let’s just say you have minimal sexual experience, Park Chanyeol.

That shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Right?

Wrong. Once Byun Baekhyun realises you are awkward as fuck even in this area he’ll dump you for sure. You’ve been getting on with luck thus far.

Stop it.

“Chanyeol, are you alright? You just went really pale?”

I flap my arms and accidentally bash my head on the headrest, eliciting a groan.

“Ouch.”

“Are you worried about having sex with me?”

Wow, forward much.

I pale.

“You totally are!” Byun Baekhyun exclaims, as he pulls into what I presume is his driveway.

“Um, no I’m not.”

Not even I’m convinced with that performance, Park Chanyeol. And I’m your brain.

“Sure,” Baekhyun drags.

He takes the keys out of the ignition, pushes open the car door, and runs around to open mine for me while I sit there flabbergasted.

“Come on!”

He grabs my arm and drags me out of the car, while I flail my arms about trying to cover my privates. And Patrick Star.

Why do you even wear them? Actually, why do you even watch that show still? You’re almost twenty.

So?

Spongebob is almost as bad as that Adventure Time show you always watch.

Heh, Adventure Time.

See what I mean?

Nope. They’re my favourite shows. You can’t do anything about that.

We make it to the doorway without mentally scarring any stray passersby, much to my bemusement.

Byun Baekhyun’s house is warm.

Not temperature warm, but colour warm.

The walls are a nice yellow, kind of like Spongebob Squarepants only more on the orange side.

There are family photos everywhere, and I realise just how cute Byun Baekhyun was as a child.

I want to glomp him, but I’m wearing just underwear.

Still.

Byun Baekhyun drags me up his hallway and into his bedroom.

Oh.

Lining the walls are not pictures of Byun Baekhyun, but pictures of me. In some I am sleeping, in some I am blissfully unaware I am getting my photo taken while Baekhyun smiles into the camera lens.

What?

Byun Baekhyun chuckles and pushes me down onto the bed.

“You like them? I got Kai and Sehun to help me out with them.”

Admittedly, I feel slightly less stalkerish than before.