Chanyeol's Epic Fail (not mine)

Daebak Baek's Audition

I laugh as Baekhyun nervously paces up and down the corridor.

“You’ll be fine!”

Baekhyun huffs in frustration.

“Why would you do this to me?” he says exasperatedly.

“Because I love you, and I care for you, and I know you can make it.” I tell him pointedly. There is not a single doubt in my mind.

“But what am I going to sing?” he grumbles, his feet marching, leaving a ‘click click’ on the tiled floor.

“Well, you’ll sing ‘Tears’ by Girls’ Generation.” I tell him.

“Hang on…”

Finally, it clicks.

See Chanyeol, sometimes I think that maybe Byun Baekhyun has a similar brain capacity to you. I mean, you’ve only been telling him to sing for you daily for the past three weeks. A retard could have figured it out by now.

Fuck off brain.

“You mean all this time you’ve been making me sing for you, it was all for this audition?” he asks.

I nod.

“Pretty much.”

Baekhyun glares at me, and his eyes seem to bulge out of his head.

“What?”

“You should have told me!” he yells.

I flinch.

“Sorry…” he mumbles, watching me carefully.

I shake my head.

“You have a right to be angry,” I tell him quietly. “But I only did this because I believe in you.”

He can’t help but break into a smile then, and he plants a kiss on my forehead. I giggle.

“Byun Baekhyun?”

Finally.

A woman walks out of the room with a clipboard, her hair tied back so she looks very professional. Baekhyun just stands there nervously.

“Oh, is that you? You look very tall!” She says to me.

“Huh? Oh! I’m not Byun Baekhyun, that’s my boyfriend!” I tell her excitedly. I point proudly at Baekhyun and the woman looks at me funny.

“O…K? This way please,” she motions for Baekhyun.

He looks like a nervous wreck, so I peck him lightly on the cheek and give him a warm hug.

“Kill it!” I whisper, nibbling on his ear.

He blushes like crazy.

The next five minutes are the most nerve-wracking part of my life in the history of the world.

There’s dead silence down the corridor, and everyone’s staring at me after my public display of affection.

You’re a retard, Chanyeol.

Thanks for that, brain.

You’re welcome.

It was sarcasm.

I know. I’m your brain, dimwit.

SHUT UP!

It is my turn to pace nervously up and down the corridor.

People just stare at me like I’m a crazy person once my legs give way and I’m rocking back and forth in a fetal position in the middle of the floor, mumbling to myself in ‘Chanyeolish’, my self-proclaimed own language.

“Woah, woah!”

Wait.

Wait.

Hang on a second.

That is a familiar voice.

“Kris?”

I look up.

Oh.

OK then.

“Yeah, it’s me. And Tao too.”

The gliding man nods and gives me a nervous wave.

“You’re trying out for SM?” I ask.

“Yeah, both of us.” Kris runs a hand through his hair nervously. “You too?”

I shake my head.

No.

“I have no talent. I dragged Baekhyun here.”

Kris nods.

“He’s auditioning now,” I realise aloud, causing me to mentally flip out again.

I walk over to Kris and repeatedly slap him on the arm.

“He’s auditioning now!”

Slap, slap slap slap.

Chanyeol, you look like a constipated walrus. Shut your mouth and stop drooling and flapping your arms around like a spaz.

My eyes trail the rest of the hallway.

What?

“SEHUN?”

“Huh? Chanyeol?”

Luhan marches over to me.

“You trying out too?”

Brain, do I have permission to say what the fuck?

Permission granted.

“WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE?” I screech.

“Auditioning for SM,” Sehun explains slowly, like I have the mental capacity of a goldfish.

Hey, his assumption is not too far off.

SHUT UP!

A step or two more to the right, and I receive a ‘no way’ from a teen sitting down.

Oh Lord.

Kai.

Not you too.

Kyungsoo is sitting on his lap.

“Excuse me but did everyone just decide to audition for SM without me what the fuck is going on?” I exclaim.

“LANGUAGE!” Sehun punches my arm.

“Park Chanyeol?”

What.

WHAT?

“WHAT?” I yell loudly.

“It’s time for your audition.”