Chanyeol's Epic Fail (not mine)

Training!

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I tell Baekhyun.

I’m scared.

Really scared.

“It’ll be fine, Chanyeol.”

We’re in Byun Baekhyun’s car, on the way to the SM Building. All of our stuff sits sprawled out over the back seat, and fills the trunk.

Sehun and I sold the apartment. As of today, we are officially trainees. This means bunking. Bunking with random people we have never met before in our lives.

Randoms.

Real, live, randoms.

I stick a fingernail into my mouth in an attempt to bite it off, but Baekhyun quickly whips my hand away.

“Chanyeol. Calm down.”

I turn to him and watch him carefully. How does he do it? How does he just sit there calmly, not even sweating?

I’m sweating like a pig, and I’m pretty sure the first thing Baekhyun wants to do when we get out of the car is breathe in some fresh air.

My pits are stinking up the car. Byun Baekhyun is breathing in intoxicated air.

Bad.

Bad, Chanyeol.

Then maybe you should lower your arm instead of sticking it in his face, you nut.

I lower my arm casually, and wipe my forehead. It sure is hot.

It’s snowing outside.

It’s hot.

Sure you don’t have a fever?

Probably.

We pull into an unmarked driveway, and Baekhyun piles out of the car, ripping open the backseat door. He rips his baggage out of the car, lugging it up to reception. I breathe in, and follow.

We sign in at the front desk, and are taken into a new room, one similar to the audition room though with not quite so many mirrors.

I look around.

“Don’t even tell me…”

There’s the gliding Tao.

And blonde dickhead Kris.

Annoying Sehun.

Girly Luhan.

And fucking Kai.

Squishy Kyungsoo.

There’s a few other people in the room, people I don’t recognize, but learn the names and faces of soon enough.

Suho, a short guy with a round pudgy face and dimples.

Chen, a slightly taller guy with the jawline of a Greek God.

Lay, a quieter guy with a bodyline to sink a battleship.

And finally Xiumin. Squishy, squishy, balloon-faced Xiumin.

"Haha, Baozi," Luhan grins wildly, pointing at his face.

Sometimes I wonder if that kid actually has a brain. And then I realise, he must if you have one.

"SHUT UP!"

They’re all nice, and they don’t judge me too hard. Well, the new people anyway. Sehun gives me his usual amount of sass as he holds Luhan possessively in his arms.

As if it wasn’t clear enough that they were dating.

A man with a clipboard comes bounding into the room, almost stacking it on the side of the doorway. Tao smirks.

Well, at least you aren’t the most clumsy. Oh wait, you’re clumsier than him.

“SHUT UP BRAIN!”

Heads turn.

I might as well get this over with.

“I’m weird, OK?” I announce to the room.

“Please ignore my random outbursts.”

Chen gives me an ultimate troll face, and I actually want to punch him in the face. But I’m too nice for that.

Oh really?

That condescension is unnecessary, brain.

You're welcome.

The man with the clipboard shifts around a little on the spot, as if looking for a comfortable standing position.

He opens his mouth and the room falls into immediate silence.

“Well, hi everyone. I’m going to be your manager. You’re debuting soon as a new group, a group that’s different from any group this company has ever formed before. There’s going to be 2 subunits, depending on language. Mandarin speakers and Korean speakers.”

I nod slowly.

“The Mandarin speakers will be Kris, Tao, Lay, Xiumin, Chen, and Luhan.”

Luhan lets out a small gasp, and clings to Sehun for dear life.

“You will be working primarily in China.”

Chen raises a hand.

“Ugh, I can’t speak Chinese or whatever.” Xiumin gives a small nod.

“You’ll learn it.”

He turns to the rest of us.

“The Korean group is Suho, Sehun, Kai, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol.”

I rub Baekhyun’s arm and he smiles at me cutely.

“You’re going to be based in Korea.”

I can tell Sehun’s going to be a moody bitch the minute this guy leaves the room.

It’s like a fucking iceberg hit the hull of the Titanic, and Luhan gets flung in the ocean when Sehun’s tied to a banister, screaming profanities at his lost love.

Romeo and Juliet.

Or Twilight.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

The man continues.

“Each of you has a part to play in the group, and as such, I’ll announce each group’s leaders. Kris, you’re the leader for China. Suho, for Korea.”

I smile at Suho. He looks so excited.

“We’ll sort out the living arrangements later, but for now, work hard!”

Sehun gives me a powerful glare, but I just roll my eyes at him.

Jealous much?

I’m with Baekhyun.

In a boyband.

In SM.

“Oh, hey Taemin!” Kai shouts, waving ecstatically.

Is that SHINee??

“We’ve got a break for the next few weeks from live stages and recordings, so we’re going to be training you guys!” An excited Onew announces to the room.

Excuse me?

“KAI, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW TAEMIN?”

I scream loudly.

Kai just shrugs.

“Dance, dude.” he says coolly, as if it explains everything.

My eye twitches, and I make a disturbing thinking face. I think I'm freaking Minho out, and Key is judging me extra hard. Jonghyun just stands in the corner looking like a dinosaur.

What?

ASDFGHJKL!

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