The game | Calum Hood

Addictions, Breakups and Dirty Little Secrets

"Yes you are Riles, you're gorgeous."
"Calum, I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not!"
"Ok you're not."
"That's not nice."
"See, I can't win!"
-
"Riles?" Calum spoke softly, my head laying on his chest which was rising up and down steadily. "Have you thought about what might have been if your mum hadn't invited us round for dinner that night? Or even if Poppy hadn't moved away?"

I nodded my head, tracing patterns on his toned chest, a product of his sport.

"I mean, I know I've not even known you for a week, but you won't seem to leave my head Riley. I'm almost addicted to you."

"Calum," I sighed, making me sit up. "Look, I know you feel like that now,"

"No." He stopped me. "You don't understand Riley, it feels different. It feels weird."

Hearing Calum say this made my heart break. He was either using it as a cover up or he genuinely was totally, madly in love with me - something that I couldn't reciprocate.

True, I loved Calum. He was warm, he made me laugh, I could be me around him and he would still act as if I wasn't being a complete bitch. He was unlike any other guy I had ever met, and admittedly I felt something for him, but everything felt like a whirlwind.

"Please Calum, just let me talk." I whispered, but he stopped me again.

"Riley, I may be 'one of those footballers' and I admit, I was one of these footballers who used girls, who slept with a different girl every night, and I did purely sleep with a girl because of looks rather than getting to know them. But I am full of regret. My whole life at the minute is regret. I regret getting kicked out of the academy, I regret sleeping with more girls than I even know before saving myself for somebody that I actually like. But I never thought I would meet anybody that actually liked me Riley. And then I met you, and you just changed me. But it all feels so rushed, but I've said it before, but I just don't want to loose you."

I took Calum's hand in mine and pulled him up to face me.

"Cal, look, you're sweet. There's no denying that you make me feel like nobody else ever could. You don't know quite how much my life has changed since I met you, even if it was only a few days back. But Calum, I can't let you keep your hopes up. When you don't want me, because one day you won't want me anymore, I can't deal with the heartache of losing you. I think maybe we should just, take it slow."

Calum's face dropped, his eyes lost their sparkle. Tears began to rise and he swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"You're breaking up with me?" He managed to squeak, his voice quiet and hurt.

"Cal, you haven't lost much, trust me. Look, I know where you are if I need you, and the same for you, you know I'm always right next door. It's just after tonight, I feel like we should be just friends for a while."

"Shit, stupid stupid Calum!" He whined, holding his head in his hands. "I knew I should have taken you somewhere fancy! You're too good for me Riley Hemmings, way too good. So, just friends, what exactly does that mean?" He whispered, his fingers running along his car bonnet.

"No Calum, tonight only made me fall more in love with you than I already was, it's perfect. But, that's what I mean, I haven't known you for even a week and already I feel like a princess. I don't know how to be in a relationship Calum, I will just push you away. One day Cal, maybe we will be together, but just not, now." Tears now marked a pathway down my cheeks which matched Calum's and my hands began to shake. I did love Calum, and that's why I hurts so much.

"But Riley, I love you." He said, almost too quietly so that I was unable to hear him. "I love you!"

I pulled his face towards mine and pressed my lips onto his, creating the familiar feeling of fireworks exploding within my body, but this time, they just hurt.

"I love you too Calum, which is why I'm just asking you to let me have some time to figure stuff out. I promise, with everything that I have, you will be the first person I go to when I've sorted myself out. One day, we can be like this again, but just, not now."

"Riley..."

"Calum, if you love me let me go. Because I'll be back." I spoke softly into his neck. "If you love me let me go!" I sang as he rubbed my back and kissed my head, making him chuckle.

"I guess I should get you home then," he sniffed as he jumped down and lifted me down with him. Now, he left me to get into the car myself and he turned off the radio as soon as the engine started. "Riley, when will I see you again?"

His hand automatically reached towards my thigh, but he instantly pulled back as he realised what he was doing.

"I don't know Cal." I replied, trying to hold back another wave of tears, but failing.

"Don't cry, I'll start again." He mumbled, looking at the road ahead. His legs were bouncing up and down, and he was clearly uncomfortable.
-
"So how was your date with Cal?" My mum smiled as she jumped off the sofa when I walked through the front door. I didn't even get to say a goodbye to Cal, he just walked in.

"I don't want to talk about it." I huffed as I kicked off my heels and ran upstairs as fast as I could, throwing myself on my bed and checking my phone. I had a message, which was from Calum and it was a link.

I pressed on the link and the song that he had sent me, sent me into another fit of tears. Dirty little secrets played quietly from my phone as I dug my head into my pillow, not wanting to leave my room again.

I didn't want mum, I didn't want the twins, I didn't want dad or Luke, I didn't want Michael, I wanted Calum. Calum. Calum Thomas Hood.

What had I done? I know, I was right to stop him before he got too dependant on me. It wasn't fair on him when I didn't feel the same way, but now I didn't have him, I wanted him.

It's always that way, you want what you can't have.

-A/N-
So Calum rushed things with Riley because he was scared of loosing her but Riley broke up with him because she was scared of loving him and I think that's extra cute.