What Are You Looking For? Part 2: The Liturgy and the Sacraments

The Sacrament of Matrimony: The Family as Church

The Sacrament of Matrimony: The Family as Church

                This is something we don’t think about much, but for the Catholic couple, their family is a church.  In the Gospels we see the first example of this with the Holy Family.  It was up to Mary and Joseph to teach Jesus the Jewish faith and how to live that faith, not just in the Temple or synagogue but in his everyday life.  In Acts, we see it every time we read about entire households being baptized.  In the Catholic Church, the family is referred to as the domestic church, and it is here that every lay person first and foremost fulfills their role as priest, prophet and king.  It is here that we practice what the Catechism refers to as the common priesthood.

                This is an important part of every marriage, and should begin before the couple ever even considers marriage.  By that I mean that a man and woman who are serious about each other should go to church together.  They should pray together.  They should both be active in the church.  This may seem like an odd thing to say about people who are dating, but if they aren’t comfortable enough with each other to live their faith around each other before marriage, well, it’s not something that’s magically going to happen after marriage.  One of the greatest responsibilities a husband has for his wife is to help her to grow in holiness.  And the same is true of the wife for her husband.  A couple is to do all they can to help their spouse get to heaven.   

                After the children come along, that responsibility increases.  It is in the home that the children will first learn their faith.  For a Catholic couple that means having the child baptized as soon as possible and wisely choosing the godparents, for it is the godparents’ responsibility to help the parents teach the child the Catholic faith.  It is in the home that children will see the love of a husband and wife modeled for them in the circumstances of everyday life and the stresses that go along with that.  It is where they will learn about acceptance and forgiveness and unconditional love.  It’s also where they will learn that actions have consequences.

                The home is also where children learn their faith.  Even if you drag them to church every Sunday and make them go to Catechism classes, or for Protestants, Sunday school, church, Sunday night and Wednesday night services, where they really learn their faith is at home.  What they see modeled for them every day, what they participate in every day is what will stick when they are adults.  That’s why it’s so important for parents to know their faith.  Parents, especially dads, need to have that daily prayer time with their kids.  They need to read the Bible to them.  For Catholics, they need to be able to explain the Catechism to them.  Parents need to know things like what the Sacraments are and why they are important.  If kids see their parents going to Mass, going to Adoration, praying and studying their faith, they are much more likely to develop the same habits then if the only time they hear about God is on from the priest on Sunday.  Every day parents are presented with practical teaching moments when they are raising children, moments when they can explain how to live a Christian, Catholic life in a very secular world.

                A young couple who just said, “I do” who can pray together, read the Bible together, go to church together and talk about their faith with each other will be better prepared to do the same with their children when they come along.  If those habits aren’t already in place, putting them in place when they are working and taking care of the kids is next to impossible.  The intention is there, but before you know it living a Catholic Christian life is something you squeeze in on Sunday between the laundry and the dishes.  And yet, just like the husband’s responsibility to help his wife grow in holiness, and the wife’s responsibility to help him grow in holiness as well, together they will be held accountable before God for the way they raise their children.  Did we raise them to know they need to put God above all else?  Were they encouraged to ask God whether they are called to the vocation of marriage or the vocation of religious life?  Were they raised in such a way that as young adults they remain faithful to the Church and the Sacraments they have received? 

That’s not to say that every young person will remain true to their faith, whether Catholic or Protestant, they will make their own choices as adults.  As parents, our job is to give them the best foundation we possibly can.  If our homes truly are domestic churches, then we will be able to stand secure in the knowledge that we did our job to the best of our ability.  Once the kids are grown, it’s up to them to continue.  Hopefully, prayerfully, we do our job well enough that our children’s homes become domestic churches as well.