Melancholy

Solstice

..

Track: I Found - Amber Run

.

.

The ride home from the mall dragged in heavy silence.

I kept my forehead against the window, letting the glass cool my skin while the city lights smeared past outside in neon blurs. My fingers stayed locked around the silver moon pendant, tracing its edges over and over. It felt wrong tonight-too heavy, too cold, like it had turned into a lead weight that no longer fit the person I was trying to become.

Jungkook's face wouldn't leave my head.

The sharp black suit that made him look untouchable. The dark hair styled with a precision that felt clinical. The gold sun pendant catching every bit of artificial mall light, mockingly matching the silver one trembling against my chest.

And then there was Jisoo. Her hand resting easy on his arm, her body leaning into him with the practiced comfort of someone who didn't have to fear him. That smile he gave the cameras-smooth, confident, as if the past were a book he'd simply finished reading and shelved forever.

He looked put together. Successful. At peace with the world.

My stomach twisted hard. For one fleeting second, our eyes had met across the crowd, and I saw it-that old flicker of him, the one who used to watch me while I slept in that gilded cage. Then, guilt washed over his face before the mask slid back into place, cold and professional.

That hurt worse than any blow. It meant pieces of the old Jungkook were still there, buried under expensive cologne and public relations. And he had still chosen to move on without me.

"Tae?" Jimin's voice broke in softly. His hand slipped into mine, warm and steady. "You've gone quiet since we left the mall. You okay? You seem really off."

I tried for a small smile, but it felt brittle, like dried clay. "Yeah, just tired. The flight and all the people... it's hitting me harder than I thought."

He squeezed my fingers, but I could feel his worry through our bond-a low, rhythmic pulse of protective anxiety. He didn't believe me. I hated lying to him, but telling the truth meant reopening doors I had barely survived walking out of.

How was I supposed to explain that the man the world admired today was the same man who had kept me behind a locked door, who had broken me down to my very foundations, and then tried to love the ruins?

I couldn't. Not yet. Maybe never.

When the car finally pulled into the driveway, I moved on instinct. I headed straight inside, barely hearing the voices from the living room-the soft laughter of Eomma and Mrs. Park discussing guest lists and dinner dates. I didn't stop.

I went upstairs, each step heavier than the last, until the door of my room clicked shut behind me.

Finally alone.

I sat on the edge of the bed, hands resting on my thighs. The silence of the room was deafening. My fingers found the pendant again, pressing the crescent moon into my palm until the sharp edges dug in. A small sting. Anything to keep the memories from drowning me.

It started slow. The way Jisoo touched his arm. The way he didn't pull away. That easy smile.

I stood up fast, pacing to the mirror. The guy looking back at me was pale, his eyes too wide, shadows underneath that had nothing to do with travel and everything to do with a haunting.

"You're fine," I whispered, my voice cracking in the empty room. "This doesn't change anything. You're okay."

But the reflection didn't buy it. It showed everything I'd tried to bury: the suffocating fear of those locked rooms, the sickening confusion of when his touch stopped hurting and started feeling like the only thing keeping me alive. The nights I waited for his letters like they were oxygen. The promises he whispered into my hair-promises that felt like lies now that he wore the matching sun while standing beside someone else.