Lost then Found:A Dean Ambrose FanFicition

Chapter Forty-One: Face to Bruises

Chapter Forty-One Face to Bruises

     Sitting on the plane that would take me to Davenport, Iowa, I couldn't keep my nerves under control. Tonight would be the first time in exactly one week that I showed my face in the WWE locker room since Jon and I's fallout. I had spent nearly half the night trying any and all methods of mental preparation, but all failed miserably. Everytime I dared to think about what happened, the scar on my back stung and the ones that I made on my hip made me feel even worse. I realized now that cutting was a bad decision, but in that moment, I did not care. Paige, nor anyone else had discovered them, although I knew that someone would sooner rather than later.

If truth be told I volunteered to come to Davenport by myself. Paige and both of my parents had wanted to accompany me, but I wanted to be alone as I went on this journey. I needed as much isolation as I could get before I set foot inside of the arena. But being surrounded by a plane full of people who knew who I was did not help my anxiety at all. Of course, they were all leaving me alone now, but it was quite annoying beforehand when I couldn't even listen to my music in peace.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. We will be landing in Davenport in twenty minutes. Please remain seated and fasten your seat belts as we prepare to begin our descent," the captain announced, sounding as if he wanted to get off of the plane as much as I didn't.

When Paige had spent the night at my house on Friday, she forced me to find all of the belongings that Jon left behind. There were several t-shirts, a pair of sunglasses, and a pair of red boxers that made me want to vomit. She insisted that we burn them, but some part of me did not want to follow through with the plan. So I gathered everything into my arms and stowed it all away into a chest in the attic. Luckily, I'll never be able to lay eyes on them again because Paige sealed it shut with an entire bottle of Grizzly glue. It wasn't painful to say goodbye to them. It actually felt good to be rid my house of all traces of Jon. Getting the glue off of our hands had been the difficult part.

I still felt dead inside. I had invested every fiber of my being, devoted all of my time into something that I, towards the end, hoped that would last for a long time. My heart had been whole at last. The fight was still fresh in my mind. I could remember every word that was said, Jon's words more than mine. They all stung, slicing through my mind and forcing me to either cry or to fall silent to endure a migraine that would not go away for hours at a time. Begging for death had been foolish. I was quite glad to wake up every morning feeling excruciating pain. It reassured me that I was alive.

People had called and left messages after Monday. I did not answer any of them except for my mother's. She was the only person I had even wanted to talk to. My dad had tried to break through my temporary shield, but failed. He loved me no less, although I knew that I had hurt him. John, Matt, Sean, Steve and Dan had all made appearances in my house last week, but even they, whom I had known as long as I could remember, could not even make me feel better. Paige hadn't either, although it was a good thing that she had convinced me to come out of the house and go back to work. Trinity and her husband Jon had stopped by yesterday and spent the day with me, knowing that they had to keep me severely distracted. Everyone who I allowed it helped, but no one could ever restore my heart to the empty space in my chest.

I had known that I would have to see Jon tonight, but only because we were involved in a storyline. Triple H had said that he did not want this to stop, going on to say that he was hopeful that Jon and I would reunite one day both on and off screen. Little did he know that I would do anything to make sure that dream did not become a reality. I was ready to move on, to spare myself of more emotional distress. But this was my job that was at stake. I had to comply with all demands...from Triple H at least.