Dreamers

Chapter Forty-Two

Danny sat with his back to the door watching Jessica's chest rise with the ventilator next to her. his thoughts where all over the place. He was so tired he couldn't even think strait. A soft knock fell on the door. George stepped in quietly expecting Danny to be asleep.

"Hows our little fighter doing today?" He whispered.

Danny turned slightly to see him. "She good still fighting like a champ. She could wake up any day." He smiled. They both knew that was a stretch, but Danny wasn't about to give up on her, not now, not wile she has fought so hard. The doctors had given Danny his options and he had humbly explained to them that no matter what was to happen he would be at her side until the moment she woke up, and he was certain she would. Her fever had dropped to a normal rate and her body was in a stable condition. The infection was the only thing keeping her from progressing any further. It had become a worry to her doctor and his staff. She was running at a very high risk for going into septic shock, and if that happened there was nothing they could do for her in her state. George looked at Danny a sad look on his face.

"Danny you haven't slept in days. you should go home and get some rest, take a shower, just get out of here for a little wile."

Danny glanced back at him again. "Are you kidding?" He scoffed. "Im not leaving her, she needs me."

George sat down on the edge of her bed. "Danny I don't think you understand what is happening here. You have done everything you could possibly have done for her. You need to think about your health, you need rest." He spoke softly as not to upset him.

Danny stood quickly hitting the wall behind him hard with the flat part of his fist. "No." He shouted. "I haven't done everything I can. until she wakes up and gets out of that bed im not moving from her side." He glanced back at him, his eyes rimmed with tears. "Don't you get it? She was I had and I screwed up. She wouldn't be here if I had just stayed like she asked. She needs me and ill be damned if im not going to be here for her this time. That baby...." his voice cracked and a tear fell across his flushed cheek. "That baby missed out on the best mother it could have had, because of me. She would have loved that child with everything she had.... that baby needed her and it... it didn't even get the chance to see the life she would have given it. It didn't even get a chance to breath." He cried harder the more he spoke. "Jessica didn't even get to hold it or tell it how much she loved it. You may not see it but I do... she would be absolutely heart broken. I know she would have loved that child more then anyone ever could. This, everything that has happened is all my fault. If I had only known.."

George cut him off. "You couldn't have known. How could you have? Danny she didn't even know you cant put this on yourself. Jessie is sick there is nothing you can do about it."

"Bull shit, I should have paid more attention to her. I mean we took precautions but I never thought about this ever being a possibility." He sat down his head in his hands.

George was puzzled at Danny's rambling. Was this what he thought about all this time? blaming himself for everything that was happening. George could feel the pit of his stomach churn with sympathy for him. This couldn't be his fault even if he wanted it to be. Some way or another it would have happened. Or at least that's what he thought. "What do you mean precautions?"

"I mean she was on the pill, she always watched he ovulation cycle." He sat up his hands pressed together at his lips.

"She could still get pregnant Danny. It just happens that way sometimes, its not your fault or hers."

Standing up again Danny paced the room looking to Jessica every once in a wile mumbling to himself.

"Come on Danny you aren't doing her any good sitting her exhausting yourself." George sighed.