Don't Burn Out (Currently Editing)

Ten

~An expert of Laurie Halse Anderson's story Speak is used in this chapter. Also I used a quote from Matthew S William~

"The tears dissolve the last block of ice in my throat. I feel the frozen stillness melt down through the inside of me, dripping shards of ice that vanish in a puddle of sunlight on the stained floor. Words float up.

Me: "Let me tell you about.""

I wipe away my tears and lovingly stroke the fresh pages. And with that I finish my second book of the week.

I grab my tea cup from the side table, cupping my hands around its warmth.  The sweet scent of orange and spice in envelopes the rooms. Today marks one week of my being here.

A day after our shopping trip I claimed Patricia Malik's study as my own. It's quaint and quiet. The room gives off a Disney-ish, princess vibe with its small gold chandelier and tall candle sticks to match. The smell of tenderly loved books lingering in the air. As for the bottle of brandy I found in the drawer, I had been nursing it slowly ever since. I only allow myself a few small sips every few hours. I hope to slowly wean myself. I am fully aware of difficulty of a diy rehabilitation, especially when you are trying to hide the addiction from the people around you, but I pray I can get through it. I would hate for Zayn to know about my alcoholism, but today is quite the high day I've only had two low thoughts so far.

Warm rays of sunshine stream through the grand French doors and glass wall and coat every surface evenly. From my place on the ivory sofa, I watch a family of rabbits frolic through the gardens surrounding the entire home.

I haven't been formally introduced to the pack as their Luna, and honestly I'm grateful for that. Zayn told me the pack held over fifteen hundred wolves. I can't believe I will run such a large pack. It's terrifying to thinking myself as a Luna.

Besides that I have meet a few pack members from strolling around the pack village, and I've began to retake the online college classes. Zayn was soon proud when I told him I was merely semesters from graduating with a bachelor's degree in English.

Besides the alcohol, I am happier here than I have been is so long. In all this time, I've only had three panic attacks. I hid the last one from Zayn though. Athena has still been urging me to tell Zayn, but I just don't want him to pity me more than he does already. When he looks at me I see it in his eyes when he looks at me. Behind the adoration and everlasting lust, there's always pity.

I know I've told him just about everything that has happened to me, and I also know Zayn is smart enough to know someone cannot go through just half of what I went through come out without any lasting scars. I just hope I'll have quit the booze by then.

His presences sneaks up on me as a knock sounds at the door.

"Come in."

The door gently swings open and my mate steps in. I can't help but stare at his beauty. His chiseled Adonis facial features, warm milky-brown eyes that drew me in, plush lips the color of cotton candy.

His arms that hold brute strength cuddle me against his chest so gently. He sits were I sat before he walked in  then takes me into his arms. The tip of his nose tickles my scalp lightly as he inhales my scent.

"Have you been reading all day long?" He mutters into my hair.

"No." I reply snuggling closer to him.   I'm rewarded with a deep purr. Often times when a human or sometimes a different species is mated to a wolf they try to refuse to be touched by their mate, however, I don't understand why someone would want to refuse something that felt this good. "I did something class work, met a little girl named Sierra in the pack village.." My voice trails as I realize I have nothing more to say. "Umm well I did read the majority of the day.. I wouldn't say all day."