Don't Burn Out (Currently Editing)

Sixty Seven

This is a short chapter, but it's also really cute and a big thing happens. Also Directioners read my author's note at the bottom.

POV Tiffany

The sensation that has become as familiar as my right hand wakes me from deep sleep. The flip-flopping of my stomach and fierce burn in my throat. Slapping a hand over my chapped winter lips, I practically fly out of bed and to the bathroom where I release everything I had for dinner last night. Just over the seat of the toilet, Zayn's grey sweatpants and bare feet come into view. He says less than a single word, as he gently pulls back my hair into a rubber band.

"Six months," he hums into my ears.

I can not respond, as my stomach rolls over. The first lycan woman to be pregnant, Cleopatra Rosalind Montague whom was also the Luna of the first ever pack, the Moon Goddess gave her two months for the duration of every trimester, six months. I am barely in month one. In the weeks after Zayn's twentieth birthday, I found myself three weeks pregnant. We have not even told the pack, yet I was already puking up all my bodily organs.

Zayn clicks his teeth behind me, 'Stop being so dramatic.'

When my insides are empty and I can think clearly I flush the toilet and walk over to the sink stumbling every step until Zayn's hands steady my hips. When my mouth is clean I make a permanent imprint of the back of my hand on Zayn's cheeks.

He hisses cupping his cheek, "Dammit woman!"

"Tsk, tsk you should knew better about telling me to stop being dramatic. Now handsome, please tell me what we have planned today." I lie my, still sleepy, head on his chest even though I just slapped him. Hormones..I'm sorry.

"Well I do believe you have an appointment with Dr. Abana." He releases his cheek and holds me against him.

"I don't want go."

"You never want to go."

-:-:-:- Two hours later -:-:-:-

"So Tiffany it's been a few weeks, how have you been?" Esme Abana sits across from me dressed in red and she sips from a mug that smells of mint.

"Well," I sip from my own mug. Earl Grey, my taste bud silently sing. "I still have some 'bad days,' but I feel like I'm improving so much."

"A little birdie told me you are three weeks pregnant," I uncross my hands and picked at my black nail polish. Zayn and I had told very few people the guys stayed quiet, however, the girls were a flock of gossiping geese: my mother and and Waliyha being the leaders. "Is that true, Tiffany?"

My cheeks feel warm, "Yes, it is. Zayn and I wanted to wait till I was farther along to tell the pack, but it seems everyone already knows. My mother and Zayn's sister clearly couldn't hold their tongues." A snicker falls from my lips carrying tinge of sarcasm.

"Do you think it's a boy or girl?"

I hadn't really questioned the sex, I just want a healthy baby. "I don't know... Uh Zayn wants a little girl."

She releases a soft "Ah." I draw my attention to my white mug and the amber liquid. "A few weeks ago, in December...on Christmas, I was listening to Zayn's thoughts...he thought I was asleep, he was thinking about the child he wanted. He said he wanted his child to be exactly like me. Then he described this amazingly strong and brave woman that is nothing like me.. I promised my children I would be that woman..."

Her aged hand falls on my knees. "Adrenaline, builds in our bodies in flight or flight. When you are experiencing adrenaline, you could be dying and not realize. Your body knows it is dying, but your brain is suppressing the pain. For almost twelve years, your life was a constant battle. You must have many suppressed memories and emotions, and it is all coming back for you now. You had to fight for your life almost everyday. I was in that pack too, I know how awful it was. Tiffany, you're only seventeen..twelve years you grew up in hell. Twelve years is basically your entire life. Your parents raised you to be brave, but being in the middle of hell, having hell being your norm can take quite a toll on someone's life. What Zayn said of you was no lie. I see the way you walk among the pack with your head held high, you smile and wave even though you're in pain. I remember you went to school and had three jobs to help your mother pay for things. You were abused constantly, yet there was always a fire burning in your eyes. You, my dear, are one hell of a spitfire. Don't burn out, love."

"I know you are in pain, and I know you have not told anyone everything. I really would suggest that you get everything off your chest so you can start anew."

My mouth began to move on its on free will. It outlines detailed description of my life, from my first memories that I had always clung close to memories that I thought were lost; to the memories that made me want to cry memories, that made me want to fight.

It brought tears to my eyes.

I listen as an outsider to my life story. I hear my voice as it remain strong even through the tightness in my throat and chest.

I relive Nathan ejecting wolfsbane into my veins, what it felt like to bury my baby sister's body knowing I was the cause of her death, how it felt to watch my first home burn to the ground, how I felt when I met Zayn. I relive my entire life, everything I can remember, and things I had no idea that happen comes out. I see my life. I see my life, for the first time.

My mug is empty. I slump back into the sofa with a burning throat and bruised lip. The pain in my throat is something unbearable and I look like a rabid raccoon with my makeup everywhere, but somehow I feel much better than I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel a strange weightlessness.

"Now you are glowing like a true pregnant woman."

The window is black, bedazzled with shinning diamonds blazing in the dark. A truly dazzling light. A quote from a Tumblr blog, I read years ago fingers it way into my consciousness. "I was born from the stars." I believe it was an Eric Hanson quote.

I had a chaotic start, but one day I will be a brilliant star.

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hey guys,
so tiffany is pregnant. that last part was one hell of a tear jerker.

K so past this chapter, the video, if you haven't saw it you need to watch it ASAP. Zayn leaving is all publicity.It's all lies. Modest and Syco trying rile us up, so we'll buy more merch, CDs, tickets. So we'll talk about the boys and possibly bring new fans in. This isn't Zayn's fault, but they are using him. Management realizes we know Zayn is the one that takes fame the hardest. That's why they picked him. Just image how crazy it would look if Niall left. I just everyone to know we are being lied to, and this is not Zayn's fault.

Remember don't ever fucking trust Modest.

-Ashley-
xoxo