Don't Burn Out (Currently Editing)

Twenty Seven

Pre-War Gala

Cleopatra and James and their party of eight met us inside the lobby. Katherine and Zander with their upper ranks arrived shortly after. Alpha Preston Scott of the Lunar Eclipse and his Beta Damien Costa also came with some of his warriors.

I am tired before the night even begins as we stand in front of the doors leading to my own hell of the night. My anxiety levels are at an incredible height; higher than it has been since coming to the Midnight Sun pack.

The only things keeping me upright at the moment are Zayn's hands wrapped around my waist. Zayn's presence sucks the anxiety out of me like a straw; it is a very slow process, but it is something. He does bring me some relief even if it only lasts however long his skin is pressed to mine.

In an all black tuxedo and striking maroon bow tie, Zayn stands an incredible 6 feet and two inches. His shoulders are relaxed and his gaze is sharp, not cold, but calculating, expecting the unexpected, and prepared for whatever is to come. As he stands before the small crowd of our people, he is the leader I wish to be one day. So I imitate his stance and his gaze.

My copy is nothing to Zayn's. It is a mere desperate last ditch attempt, a shot in the dark, to appear strong in front of the family that made me weak and appear strong in front of my people that will make me strong.

"Whatever happens tonight," Zayn whispers for the prying human ears all around us, "remember this night marks the beginning of their end. The Capers  will no longer terrorize packs. No more innocent lives will be lost in their petty wars. No more female alphas will have to step down or hide her gender. No more crimes against omegas and Iotas (reg. pack). It will all be over soon. We have the numbers and we have the intelligence. We will win and Golden Moon will fall. They will all the die then they will have answer to Luna for their crimes against Lycanthropy."

Then all four packs came together in a short prayer. Zayn and I linked arms with the other leaders, symbolic of our alliance and friendship. We come together to pray for a quick end to this war and for the safety of all our people and those innocent captives in Golden Moon.

"Give us sanctum, give us peace, give us redemption Mother Luna." We repeat in unison.

I come from a highly religious family, but after the Capers my family lost their ways. We lost our religion, but after so many years of now prayer I feel rejuvenated, alive and well. However, this good feeling does not last too long.

Zayn and I are the first to step into the ball room where the devils waited and I could feel their filthy gaze on my body, making my skin crawl and my stomach churn. I shudder as if I am cold as I spot Joshua Capers. He smirks at me with those black--green eyes and vindictive lips. My stomach hurts as I realize he sits at a table completely alone, and realize I must sit with him.

As a symbol of of old world peace and the ignorant fellows of our ancient times who made these stupid rules all of the current reigning Alphas and Lunas are expected to sit together while their packs may sit with their own.

Zayn and I reach the table just as our friends do, but he is still staring at me. He sees right through my shattering facades. He knows I am a fake. He knows I am undeserving. He sees the weak and worthless mutt I really am.

My lips tremble but my eyes stay dry and I do not make a sound or meet his gaze.

"Alpha." Zayn spits out like poison on his tongue as he pulls a chair out for me and helps me sit.

"Well hello Alpha Zayn! Hello to you all. The gangs all here, ain't it Zaynie?"

Zayn ignores the blond as he takes his own seat, but Joshua only continue. "But it seems we have some lovely additions." His gaze is dirt upon the skin of all the three women present at the table. "Luna Tiffany you gained weight since you abandoned my pack, but other than: eh. I am still amazed at a swine like you becoming a Luna, but as they say Great Luna works in mysterious ways."

A long and deep growl rumbles at the back of Zayn's throat. He doesn't say anything and either do I, but I grip his right hand and bring it into my lap. "And the lovely and foolish Luna Cleopatra or are you still going by Patrick? I see your hair is still short..are going to-"

"Shut the fuck up Joshua. I am the alpha whether you like it or not." Cleopatra spat at him with a fierceness of the woman she is named after.

Joshua laughed as all the table threw daggers and knives at his head with our eyes. "Silly little girl women can't be Alphas and men can't be Lunas. Hell even he's a filthy human," Joshua scoffed eyeing James up and down, "he is still Alpha and you are the Luna."

"You will eat those words before you die, Alpha." Cleopatra retorted.

Joshua paused leering at Katherine for a moment to deliberate what other filth would leave that tiny mind tonight. "Hmm."' He tapped his chin. "Maybe, maybe." He replied to Cleopatra while staring through Katherine's clothes.

"And then the ever so beautiful and exotic, Katherine. You are truly a beautiful woman, my love. Even though you're human I'd bet you'd make the most beautiful babies-"

"Fuck you." She cut him off.

"- but that damned mouth. Good thing I know something I can shut it with."

Then Katherine puckered her lips and began to lean across the table when Alexander caught her by the elbow. "Baby, please."

An amused Joshua, chuckled and tapped his chin with his pointer finger. "Such a nasty little human. I would love to fu-"

"Joshua!" Zayn hissed, "we are all adults here. I'd appreciate it if we'd all act like adults." The mark on my neck burned with his words. He was fuming and struggling to contain Javadd as he just sat there with that smirk and those laughing eyes.

"Of course, Alpha Malik." He spoke to Zayn, but stared deep into my soul. I saw innocent blood drip from his ivory teeth. The green of his eyes dissolved in blackness and I saw hell fire and brimstone. I heard my own screams, I smelled the fire, and tasted the ash on my tongue as I stared into those eyes.

I threaded Zayn's fingers through mine and squeezed until he squeezed back and Joshua's face returned.

A waiter dressed in white came before anyone had another chance to speak.

It was a long night. I was on edge anything could tip me over the edge and everything did. Everything that could trigger me was present tonight and I could not run.

Niall slipped away with Elizabeth, early in the night, right after dinner. She could not stomach her food after seeing Joshua again. Following lycanthropy customs all of ranks lower than the Luna and Alpha were permitted to leave directly after dinner. Meaning I could not leave no matter how much I trembled.

I tried to be brave tonight. I kissed my mother's locket and borrowed strength from her and Zayn. I wanted to brave, but as soon as I met eyes with Nathan on the dance floor it was over. I sobbed in Zayn's chest. No sound came from my mouth, but they could feel my weakness overcome me.

Lycans are sensitive creatures and can get the general sense of emotion from anyone within the same space as us. Everyone in the room could tell how unfit I was to a Luna and that made my skin prickle, but after I was done I excused myself to the bathroom where I drank every last drop liquor in from my black flash. When it was gone I went back to the ballroom to discretely down to two glasses of white wine.

After that, I was fine. Comfortably numb I could not feel anything but the burn of liquor searing down my veins, and that was better than feeling the stalling pain and anxiety. With this liquid courage I could be brave or pretend to be.

I stepped back into the bathroom to clean up my hair and makeup. Then I strutted back to Zayn. I took him by the hand dragged him back to the dance floor, where we waltzed, tangoed, and chachaed until the warming liquor in my veins ran cold and until my feet were as numb as my mind.

At the end of the night, the alcohol in my blood told the men that have ruined everything I have ever known that their family would burn for what they have done as the sober portion of myself went into hibernation.

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Just know I pulled this out of my ass in like a day and I will eventually come back to this to add more detail and yes I'm very aware that half of this is terribly boring and give no insight into lycanthropy culture. I will come back to this eventually.

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