Nowadays, fat is like a label, '' the fat person'', people assume that being overweight or obese define a person.
It's a sad thing, but that's how a huge part of the world thinks, they won't call someone a girl who has some curves, or who has extra pounds, they will call her the fat girl.
Because it's a label, because that's how a lot of people define someone who doesn't fit into these skinny/thin/slim categories.
A person is supposed to have fat, but not to be fat, but saying it over and over again won't make people understand, so ''I'm fat'' and this statement never miss to make me upset.
I can't help it, I try and try to make a change on myself, to feel better, healthier, but everytime something ruin my motivation, and my work.
So I stay the fat girl, you would think that I should be used to it since I was really heavy since I'm born but no, you never get used to the feeling.
Because, yes there is obviously a feeling when you're fat, infact, you feel fat. And on top of that people make you feel worse, with their stares, their remarks, their ugly nicknames, it's even more upsetting when you feel like the fat girl with your friends.
When you hang out with beautiful girls, with perfect bodies, hair, style, personalities, you ask yourself why you're not like them, well, I did.
I asked myself how they could be so gorgeous without even trying, why I couldn't be more like them, and then I started to feel jealous, because everyone seemed to embrace themselves but me, even if some of my friends were saying that they are fat or ugly, I couldn't help but think ''hum have you seen me ? I'm the living definition of these words, stop it.''.
I couldn't help but feel angry, even if I knew that everyone could feel self conscious, but the truth is that I never understood how they could feel this way about themselves.
I know that it was stupid and selfish to think that I was the only one to be able to think this way about myself, but in reality, I just realized that I didn't want my friends to think the way I felt because it's sickening.
It's sickening to think that you always feel bad about yourself, that you feel jealous of the girls around you even your friends.
But, then I thought that it was up to me to feel better and to do something to change the way I looked and felt at the same time. So, the only one I can blame is myself.
