A lot of people assume that if a person wants to lose weight it's only a question of aesthetic, but no it's not.
Being overweight not only can make you feel bad mentally, but you can also feel bad physically.
Being overweight sure can be a problem, for exemple when you you're doing some efforts physically, but I will be talking about this later.
Personally, my biggest problem when I gain weight is the breasts problem, people think that a person complaining about this is only trying to get attention but let me tell you something : having big breasts due to weight gains can look bad, because in my case this whole part of my body is covered in stretch marks, and it's far from being firm. The other problem is the constant weight on your back, my spine is not straight due to the fact that I'm always leaning forward.
This weight also is in the stomach, which is also my mother's problem.
Yes, my mother is obese, but unlike me who was probably born overweight, she gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant with my brothers, my sister, but especially me.
Since she gave me birth she has diabetes and she has to go through all kind of tests every year, but she also has to eat a certain way even if she doesn't do it.
Well, my mother also has back problems due to her belly being too big, and her breasts are pulling on her back (family matter apparently).
Because of her weight, she can't walk without taking the risk to have hypoglycemia, her bones are also getting fragile because she has been obese for a long time and she is feeling her whole body aching : her bones because of the weight she's carrying everyday, her muscles getting sore when she's doing just a little effort because they are not used to it, we're living on the fourth floor of a building so she is almost passing out everytime she climb the stairs to get to our apartment.
So, yes, she has a lot of problems since she gained so much weight : back aches, diabetes, hypertension, sore muscles/bones.
And she can't seem to be able to follow an healthy lifestyle, she's always giving up very quickly because she loses motivation.
Being skinny shouldn't be a goal in life, being healthy is somewhat a better idea, because not only you will feel healthy after a certain time following this lifestyle, but you will look healthy.
I realized it at the beginning of the year when I dropped all these sugary and greasy foods, I started to cook everything myself, to drink a lot of water, to sleep more and to workout every morning before heading to uni, and I would be lying if I said it was not worth it.
Spending so much time to take care of my body made me feel confident about myself, but also made me feel good in my own body : my hair were healthier, my skin didn't have a single spot on it, I felt energetic, and everyday I regret the fact that I wasted this.
It was a tough decision, but when you see great results you can get addicted to them, so you make bad decisions.
I did.
All along my fitness journey I felt like I was eating too much, I started it with a goal of 1500 kcal per day and 1 hour of cycling every morning, but every week I wanted to see more results, so I started to reduce my eating and I was working out more, with 1000 to 1100 kcal per day for 1 to 2 hours of work out everyday.
No cheat day, no rest day.
It was such a bad decision, because everytime I ate something that was not written on my planner, everytime I cheated on my diet I felt so bad I had to ''get it out'' of my stomach.
I don't know the proper definition of an eating disorder and I don't know if this is one, but the last month of this ''diet'' I started to binge more without even noticing and bending down to the toilet was something I felt the need to do, I felt so bad, I cried a lot during this time because I felt weak, I felt like I couldn't resist to my old bad habits.
I didn't want to go back to this time I could eat two big bags of chips and still want to eat, I didn't want to feel like crap again so I thought it was the only solution.
Again, I was wrong.
Nobody really knows about this, but when you feel like you're failing again, like you're just weak it's kind of hard to share your thoughts about yourself with someone, but I wish I did so my body wouldn't have been through this.
If you feel bad, If you're having a difficult time, you shouldn't be thinking about the judgments you could get from people, because sometimes, shutting out your friends and your family can hurt you just as much as it can hurt them.
They are here for you, so don't hurt yourself anymore, don't put yourself down and talk about it, if you don't think you can do this, so many websites, twitter accounts, are here to support people being through a hard time. I'm here to support you.
Sometimes opening up to someone can keep you from hurting yourself so you shouldn't hesitate.
If you need someone to talk to, I am just one message away, don't think twice.
