Alone

Prologue // Alone

I find it weird how some events can change your life, they can literally flip it waywards, making every plan you ever had go out the window. I find it weird how it only happens to selected people. How one day you can be there, and then the next not.

They used to tell me that every moment of my life should be cherished, it should be treated like it's my last. But what they don't know is I'm secretly praying for it to be my last.

Most people don't understand mental illness, they don't understand what it's like to wake up and have to live another day battling yourself.

They don't understand what it's like to be me. But I suppose, neither do I.

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Isabella. She was that kind of person who just bought happiness to your day, she'd tell you the most random crap you didn't need to know but somehow it still made sense why she was telling you. She always acted like she was a strong person, but deep down she would still hurt, she was just like every other human being.

Calum. He was the goofy ass who miraculously became one of my best friends, whether it was the hate between us which brought us together or the fact we shared the same style in music. We just clicked. Everything seemed right between us. He was one of the best souls who lay foot on this planet.

Chloe. Her being the loud mouth hottie who I associate with as one of the crew. Not that we're much of a 'crew' as such, because of course that requires everyone to get along as if a happy family and we were far from that I can tell you now. Anyhow, we made it work and Chloe was the one to force us all back together, no matter who fell out. Lads or girls, regardless what person in the group is having the fight, Chloe will force them to make up.  I guess everyone needs a bit of tough love, and well, Michael likes it about her so I guess that's all that matters.

Now I'd go into detail and tell you about the rest of the 'crew' but you kind of get it. It basically consisted of me, Isabella, Chloe, Calum, Michael, Luke and Ashton. Even though I wanted some more in the group than others we got on most of the time, and when I say most of the time I mean rarely but we made it work because we couldn't quite be arsed to make any more friends. So we stuck, all seven of us and we made it work in the most unforeseen circumstances. I guess that's what I liked about us, that an the fact we were untouchable because the sass of every single one of us put together could create one whole, yes WHOLE Gerard Way. Anyway...

Effie. Now she was my actual sister. She was always a pain in the ass. She'd constantly kick off about near enough everything I'd do. I mean I can't blame her considering how much of a lazy slob I am, but still. I love her a lot, if there was an award for the best and worst sister in one, there would be no doubt her name would already be engraved in the trophy.

Myself. I was the person who hated every inch of myself, I could never look myself in the mirror nor feel comfortable in my own skin. There was not one flaw one my body that I thought, "oh actually, that's not bad" because everything literally was bad. In my eyes and I guess in everyone else's. I was a listener but whenever it came to my problems the only thing I had listening was the people inside my head, and they always know best. My sadness drawn me to a blade, and the blade drawn me to slight happiness.

My world was flipped from the beginning, and it still is.

The cuts mean nothing. But he means everything.

But hey, lets start from the beginning.  

a.n. 

so i just decided like twenty chapters in that I wanted a prologue so I'm adding it now and adjusting it so this is the first paragraph

you get me? probably not but hey ho just go with the flow my fellow bitches 

ANYWAY, (cam hemmingsdecay) until next time 

Mol x