i feel like I'm spiraling back
into all the times that I used
to cry until passing out,
my palm on my mouth,
shutting out any sounds,
that could come out;
just to not let anyone hear.
as i write to not let anyone hear,
i realize, nobody's listening anyway,
my words drown out in their ears
like background noise in a movie.
it's got me wondering,
why do i drown out my hurt,
when no one cares at all?
as my words get walked over,
like concrete on shibuya crossing,
i can't help but fall completely silent,
though no one sees the difference.
my head fills with so many thoughts,
they flow through all of my nerves
and then overflow through my eyes,
falling onto my cheek so quick,
that no one notices.
my heart breaks
the second i wake up,
because i slept
only to wake up.
how my life feels?
wakeup → regret waking up → sleep
repeat!
my mouth falls silent,
my eyes drown in tears,
my heart shatters in my house,
my hands tremble
with one loud noise,
i feel like scratching out,
all of the skin off my bones.
my foot nervously
hits the ground again and again,
the air around me tastes full,
and the fabric on my skin,
makes me want to throw up.
who am i kidding?
no one ever notices.
