Night Changes [Completed]

Thirty One

Quote:

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn is figuring out which bridges to cross and which to burn.

*****

Chapter Thirty One

Open your heels. My drunk brain told me. Good idea! I three open my heals on the dance floor and while doing that I kind of lost balance.

I fell backwards and Dylan caught me.

"Hey pretty, be careful" he said.

I nodded and went back to dancing with Chris. He looked at me and smiled. I was tired now.

"Chris I'm really tired, can we go home?" I ask him.

"Ya okay babe. But let me have some coffee and be sober enough to drive." Chris says going somewhere.

I nod and sit down again staring at everybody doing whatever they were doing. None of it made sense. Why were they dancing? Why were they doing whatever they were doing? This is so confusing. I frowned at my thoughts.

Then I noticed my brother sitting alone, just sitting and staring into space. Basically doing the same thing I was. I walked up to him and tilted my head.

"You wanna go home? Chris is taking me home. You come too?" I ask.

He nods but doesn't say anything. His face doesn't have any expression and cannot be seen clearly. Weird. I don't know, its even more confusing. I frowned again.

"Ready babe?" Chris asked wrapping his arm around my waist.

I nod and look at Jo, he gets up and follows us.

We get inside the car.

"Chris don't you think I'm driving well?" I ask him.

"Yes babe the best" Chris replies laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask confused and frown.

"No babe nothing" Chris says and laughs again.

"Jo do you know why he is laughing?" I ask turning back.

He shook his head.

"Jo you are confusing me, and you, you too" I said pointing to Chris.

He laughs again. The car stops.

I frown, "Now why did the car break down?"

"We have reached your house babe." Chris says.

"You have a smart car Chris, breaks down right in front of my house." I say looking around to find the house I live in.

I point at my house, "That's my house"

"Ya babe I know, c'mon now" he says opening the door for me to get out.

"What's the hurry?" I say. Jo is went inside the house and didn't say anything.

Chris and I stop in front of the little lawn thing.

"Bye Chris" I say.

Kiss him. Says a voice inside my head. Good idea! Why am I having such good ideas today? Right. I'm a genius.

"Bye babe, take care." Chris says looking at me intensely.

I rise up to my toes and plant a kiss on his lips. He kisses back at first but then suddenly pushes me back.

"Chris what's wrong?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me as if he is scared and drives away.

I just stand there thinking of what just happened. Then realization struck me like a tidal wave, my head started spinning. It was like I was in the party again with blazing music and sparkling lights. But this was different, it didn't make me happy or anything but made my head ache. And also my heart.

What am I to do now? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Or maybe, just maybe Chris never liked me, he liked me as a friend. Just a friend.

I went up to my room and looked at my reflection. I was expecting to see a girl with perfect hair and perfect makeup, but instead saw this heartbroken one with messed up hair, and mascara flowing down her cheeks.

I just stood there staring at the girl. She had intense black eyes, which told the same story as mine. Why so similar?

Then I went back to my bed and lay down looking at the ceiling. It was not very late when I realized the girl in the mirror was no one but me. I was heartbroken. But why?

I closed my eyes, my tears warming my cold cheeks. The night's scene was replaying in my head. I couldn't breath anymore, I wanted some air.

I went outside the house and walked down the familiar street, which I had walked before too. I walked and walked till I reached a familiar spot, the spot where Chris and I had talked for long for the first time. The place where I read my books. The place where I went to dissolve into my sorrows but still be numb. The place was none other than the spot in the dark corner of the park, in the times square if the unknown place. The place where I never belonged in the first place. The place I had been brought because of my mistake.

Now I had made another mistake, I didn't know what the mistake was yet. But I knew I had hurt him. I loved him, but still I had hurt him.

That's what my mistake was. I hurt the person I loved. I had finally got someone to know how I feel but I had hurt him too. What could be worse?

I close my eyes and all I could see were my demons take over me.
I could almost feel myself sitting in the past and being controlled by my demons, but I couldn't do anything to stop them. I kept shouting, crying and protesting but they won. They won because all I needed was hope and I had again lost it, somewhere between my past and present.

Somehow my aunts words came into my my mind. The scenes of my old house in front of my parents, where I was fading away flashed before my eyes.

I just sat there, in the isolated park, where there was not even a soul present. I looked up at the sky, the sun would rise soon.

I got up and walked my way home.I moved into my room and fell into bed, crying my lungs out. I don't want to live anymore. I just hurt people if I lived and that was not fair.