Mute - L.H {5sos}

Do you?...

                  When I'm upset.

                   I shut myself down.
     I have no motivation for anything.
                  I tell myself nobody cares.
        Even though I know some do.

       I think all of the negative things
               I could possibly think of.

              I give myself all the pain.
                  Thinking I deserve it.

             I'm not sure why I do that.
It's just who I am.

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Do you guys ever just feel so sad inside but yet don't know why?

That's how I've been feeling for quite sometime now.

I don't really know why, although I have an idea.

I feel guilty like I could of done better.

Like I shouldn't of given up.

I thought about going that extra mile of getting a blade.

I have thought that, yes, I'll admit it.

I feel like I've done so much wrong and that I'm alone.

I've cried myself to sleep for too long now

I don't understand what's happening

It's like everything I love is slowing slipping away.

Yes, at school I'm still laughing and joking with my friends.

They think I'm fine.

But the minute I get home?..

I just go straight to my room, lock the door, put on my headphones and block out the world.

I stay in my room until dinner, then after eating I go back to my room and stay there.

I barely talk to my parents, they ask how was school. I just say fine and end the conversation there.

They ask what's wrong? You seem sad

They have no idea.

I'm fine, I reply.

A girls biggest lie.

What they don't know is I'm at the point where I'm broken and feel unfixed.

My heart hurts.

I have this weird pit in my stomach of hurt and regret

I feel so low in life

I feel below everyone else

I feel like I'm to blame for everything that does wrong

I feel like I'm the one that deserves to feel this way.

But at the end of the day, at the back of my mind.

I know everything will be
Alright.

I know not to get so low,
I know not to get that blade.

Because I know everything will soon be

Alright.

So you, reading this now.

Wipe your eyes, don't cry no more.

You'll see the light, but not the one before your eyes.

You will feel happy once more and all will fade.

Don't worry, just hold on tight.

Everything will be alright.

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Okay so this was just a chapter about how I'm feeling but also just to tell thee people that it will get better. Maybe not now, maybe not this month but it will! You guys just need to hold on tight because someone does care wether you think it or not.

I love you guys so much

Thanks for reading.

Bye..

❤️